Because stupid blogger keeps giving me a code when i want to change my template and because my blog now has irritating things like "Published by Tandra under on Wednesday, October 08, 2008 "that the rogueking finds amusing that annoy me no end... I am temporarily moving here.

If the powers that be (evil support at google) fix the stupid bug, i Might be back but at this rate... I am not tooooooo sure.

wasnt i there and i had to do a presentation? ((reminds self to get over such phrases.. i think "wasnt i there" is no "on market"))

Anyway, I had to do something today and i learnt something about myself and yes skunk, you were right. I will talk about that more some day when I can deal with the reality that failure is.

Moving on: i am unaccountedly sleepy at very odd hours. I can understand that desire to find a tree at the constitutional square (or is it called CHOGM gardens these days?) and catch a wink but this is becoming loony! And the worst part of it is i feel like i am about to be called on it.

I wonder what happened to the whole "see but dont say anything" thing. I seem to remember sending out that particular memo....

I have thus decided to change my sleep patterns. Yes!!!!!!!!

Sleep is exciting and you can never have enough of it. NAY you say?

I totally agree...

Okay, im done time killing... i shall write more coherent stuff soon.

Sorry i chewed into valuable moments of your day.

remember... live each day (well minute) like its your last!

I wanted to write something inspiring.... I wanted to write some thing mind blowing... obviously that isnt going to happen today, so i present... RANDOMSIES! YAY!

1. I know this person who gets on my nerves quite a lot. They are "good people" but sometimes (read most of the time) they do not know when to quit.. always telling you what you should do, what you should wear, how much you should pay for something or even what you should be doing with your life.

Makes you wonder how this person became YOU and thus knows whats good or not good for YOU.

Enewe, as i was contemplating the unfairness of life as it seemed, i remembered this.

When we were in high school and someone was visiting your room and generally doing the empty tin analogy proud, we would say "Touch your bed".

i'm about to tell this person to "touch their body!"

2. And then someone said something to me and this word sprung forth from whatever corner it had been hiding... "Bleak!" or "blick" or "blique" meaning Nada.. ZERO or i dont know or something of the sorts.

Yikes.. when was the last time i used that?

Just know i felt a sense of accomplishment.

3. So there's this really boring meeting i had to sit through ( i will never understand why boring meetings are long!). Ate they dont even provide those nice parliamentary chairs in which the MP's are always dozing, these ones have no arm rests.. u cannot successfully sleep and balance yourself at the same time (trust me, i know this to be true).

When the break came, i power napped. I didnt have any choice. I admit it! Instead of maybe hunting down a samosa or chapati.. i napped and it felt great!!!!

Until the meeting started again......

4. Have you ever dailed a number looking for money and then you are informed that the peep is dead? No.. that has never happened to you?? sure???

Lets just say you are most fortunate.

If i can rate my more akward moments of the year, this would rank really high up the list.

5. So i was tapping Kabozi and this girl was complaining coz her ex-friend hooked up with her ex-boyfriend and she was ticked off at her ex-friend for betraying her like that and her ex for just running off with this other girl.

Please note: she is still tight with the ex and they have a bit of chemistry still going.

But this was where i decided girls can be silly or is it that humans can be selfish and self-centred.
Turns out, a while back she (the complainer) had hooked up with her then-friend's ex boyfriend.

What goes around comes around... 4 sho!

You know blogging has gone too far when you are writing down "research" and you start referring exactly how you would link in your posts. Trust me... tis a world altering experience when people do not understand what you are going on about... kinda like you expected them to use their fingers on the papers and it would automatically link to whatever online source you are quoting.

If you do not understand any of what I am saying, I am glad to report that you are not in the portion of bloggers affected by over blogging. That is a very good thing... you are still "normal".

I just walked for an hour..... dont ask but i think these Wazungu activities are going to my head. I am absolutely taking leave from this "exercise" crap... tisnt good on my relatively endowed body, thats all I'm saying!

In other news, No- there will not be any Tandralets coming along... no will there be any world overthrowing endevours (although I think I am steadily working towards that end), there will be no robbing banks.....

I have however fallen out of the little love I was in. Tis sad but I guess I had to grow up when dude wasnt on my plot..but that too is okay, I mean... there's only so much of my fabulousness to go around.. must be stingy about it and what not.

No, dont look at me that way. Im really fine... twas "a little"... some how conviniently everyone skap over this, no idea why.

So im back on the market, so to speak... so err...prepare to wow me.

I did see a cutie today... OMG! Such a cute guy! But then I could not help but think... is this guy really cute or is it because he fits the stereotype?

And i can not believe it!

Sorry for my other friends.. in English speak that means " I am going to die!"

So the other day, i decided to go to a Yoga class. (No, i didnt have to pay) well.. maybe i did, come to think of it... but anyway.. i was curious as to know what those positions were... manya cactus, manya dog, manya child, manya whatever

So there i am... i pull out my snazzy shorts... I know its supposed to be sweat pants from the various adverts i have seen but i figured thats what they were... Adverts. WEYA!

then in addition to my snazzy shorts, i had my snazzy sneakers and very white socks.. MBU showing i was clean. again... WEYA!

I had to bear my badly in need of a pedicure toes to the world... twas horrifying!!

So anyway... i stood out like a sore thumb... but i said... "I shall not let Africans every where down! Imma do this like im doing this for TV"

The instructor sounds like one of those commercials of the sexy seductress chick... just know... in the ka session when they said "relax.. look within...." and then gave me like 5 minutes to do this... i went to sleep! Twas soooo comfy (by the by, this is frowned upon, just so u know)

After my Yoga session and feeling terribly sleepy i also decide to sign up for a spinning class... hence the "Ngenda ku ffa" statement.

Do not be fooled by this name... u do not stand about and twirl.

Instead u ride bikes (stationary ofcos) as u wld if you were out door... so u has the music, the climbs, the side way "spins".. the slows, the peaks... its fun...

When you aint the one doing it!!!

So there i was midway session and i was thinking of the easiest way to make it to the door without being seen. No such luck.....

I suffer through to the end so some chick (barbara) was giving me tips (coz i miserably failed).. so im like "well next time, i will do that" (((HECK NO! I NOT GOING BACK!))))

So then comes the clincher... i ask her how long she'd been spinning... MBU four years...

I hung my head and silently walked away.... to die... in peace... away from the pitying eyes... by myself...

Yes.. that there is an accurate phrase (those of u having grammar issues, deal!).....

Have you felt like just going out to listen to really LOUD music? like reeeeeeeeallly Loud music? That's exactly what i feel like now...

Now where to find that illusive friend list?

I mean, i can only dance by myself for so long... u know! Although usually that's a good idea! You dont have to worry about being akward and stepping on toes and not shaking your junk the right way!

O... peeps... when did dancing become so complicated? When did it become all about your dance style?

O yeah... abouts the time peeps decided white people couldn't jump or dance.

I sorry.. if u r with me, chances are u will experience some very "white dancing" going down... alternatively you will see my standard mode of operation. I can never decide which one suits me more.. :-) so organize a date... i show u mine, you show me urs

So i know what everyone says, that when it hits you... you go down like a ton of bricks. I didnt think so, i thought everyone was exergerating and just conversation filling. You know how Africans be, yammering on about nothing in particular to pass the time and hopefully show off our conversation skills (one's we practice with no shame, every chance we get to, by the way) and well some times, i guess it does pay off.

Back to the love thing.. so this guy is UBER kewl ate i didnt even have to stalk this time. ((dont be looking at me like that, y'al know im playing, right?.... right?????))

So lets see how did this happen....

first time we talked i thought he was incredibly cute! As in INCREDIBLY! in that "o-im- SOOOOO-going-to-be-your-friend" kind of way...

Ever met someone like that? No?? give it time... you got years yet... plus some nonsense about taking each day as it comes and what not...

As we kept talking I decided he must be a really nice person, which he is (big bonus being he seems comfortable with who he is and where he is going... SEEMS being the key word, you dont ever know coz quite frankly, it isnt your life).

Some how this post isnt going the way i was planning for it to go. At this point i was supposed to be a quivering mass of unrequited love and like, pulling at your heart strings as we enjoyed this really moving moment...

lets see what i can do about that...

Have you ever spent time with someone and you decide they are the best EVER? Yeah... i know.. i didnt think there could be another ME out there but apparently i was wrong :-)

Joking aside, he's the kind of person you probably have to beat another 100 to get to, so i not even going to sweat it. Im all for freedom of expression and whatever other crap's being peddled these days but lets be honest here, what are the chances?

Err... NIL

But i still maintain... im a little in love and it feels great!

So what does this paragon of society think of me... im sure you are curious to know. Im also wondering :-) I cant very much walk up to him and be like "dude what do you think".....

Here's what will go on .....

((low music playing in the background... sets the stage for the go down thingy))

T: U boy omanyi nti ngwagala?
S: Ate?
T: ye munange, the feelings have over powered me!
S: Really?
T: Yes, and you dont need to say anything. I know this is all so sudden but i am willing to do anything to make this work... I could move in with u...
S: err..
T: Hush there dear... fret not. I have everything worked out....
S: But...
T: no buts... i has this! Okay!

I had so much fun writing this, y'al have no idea.
O well.. thought i shd share something out of my mudane existance...hopefully it has made you think some, hopefully it has bored you some...

O well... SUCH IS LIFE!

So I was minding my business as per usual the other day talking to this guy who misses home more and more each day. Apparently there are things about being at your home that makes it worth while.


I am not disputing that. I would rather imply that some times not being at home gives you the variety you need and therefore makes your experiences worth while.


So this friend suddenly starts talking about “jumping” (its that thing where you take forced leave from your parents house or school or mental institution and hope to the good Lord you do not get caught. In retrospect, maybe the idea IS to get caught!) and how he would enjoy the treks through the plantations (he was in Mwiri apparently) to go see the city lights. He was really proud of the fact that he started going to the discotheque when he as in S.2.


Let me think back… what was I doing in S.2? What were YOU doing? Upon reflection maybe I should not tell you what I was doing. My estimation in your eyes might decline a great deal and we don’t want that to happen, do we?


His “plot” went on till he was in S.6 then he got to University and since he did not have to ask for per(mission) it was all good after that. The one thing though that he regrets was going to see a kimansulo show.

Kimansulo you say? Yes, kimansulo. (It’s that thing where supposedly pretty girls take off their clothes or something. Let me redefine, it’s a peak show. The thing is though, people are too high to even notice if the girls are pretty or even if they are girls to begin with.) This phenomenon (yes, I know big words), I thought, took over Kampala about 7 years ago. Apparently it has been around longer.


The saner of you must be wondering then, how I came to know of such rumpus activities. My answer, by the power vested in the Media. Yes… freedom of the press and what not.
The less believing ones in the crowd may now stop raising their eyebrows. In addition to that possibly giving you a head ache, it does nothing to make you cuter than you already are. So No, I have not been to a show before.


Although I have been to karaoke shows that would put the most “interekcho” of you to shame. So look me up some time when you are in the mood for some really funny stuff. You have no idea how many Beyonce’s and Shakira’s are in Kampala until you attend such festivities. I wonder why Ugandans don’t want to be like Joss stones or even at worst Mariah Carrey. I might have spoken too soon. It’s kind of like how when you go to Karaoke at a supposedly cool joint in Kampala, all the chicks stand up to sing Celine Dion and Whitney Houston (at this point I usually yawn a lot and make more serious plans to take over the world). The only uplifting point in the whole thing (a side from questionable drink mixes) is the moment when one of us remembers that the only actually fun song on the whole juke box is Gloria Gaynor’s “I will survive” thingy.


Must dash. Shall complete later.

I know i am coming late to the table but i do have some things to say.

Yes i am okay.... cldnt be better! infact i think tonight i will sleep like a baby....

Will i be more regular with the blogging, i will know in about a week.

Did i get dumped? No, i did not. I suspect i did the dumping though. Not sure how thats going.

Jaz had some really heated things to say so if you havent been (wonder HOW you havent), i give u link.

About the article in the Monitor, this is what i think.

As a gimic for creating traffic or interest in blogging, i think it did really well and the fact that I am even writing about it, says something. So thank you, Dennis.

About not being serious representations of blah blah blah, tis uwa opinion and you are entitled to whatever conversations happen in your head.

1. On the whole, the article came out biased (which is I guess what happens when you decide people are not worth your time) and well, there wasnt enough time for him to develop some of the ideas that went a long with his arguement.(I think im just saying that coz a lot more goes on than the little space the monitor allocates. This is why i have BLOG so i can say whatever and it doesnt get edited and can be PAGES long... YAY!)

Side bar: oo wow, i think i just came up with a great analogy.
Just because we all live in a garage, doesnt make us the same car. (been watching too many ads)

Just because i never say anything political doesnt mean i dont know whats going on.
Just because i prefer green to blue doesnt mean i dont know how many choices are out there.
Just because i dont come off as intellectual doesnt mean there are no lights on upstairs.

O and just because you dont think im kewl enough to be in a club, doesnt mean everyone else does.

2. In regard to the poor American who was let down by these upstanding-forward-thinking some-what-mislead ugandans, i think thats a bit stereotypical in itself.

You have seen the ads, come to our church... Jesus heals, Jesus saves and then the camera rolls to these white people (sorry caucasians). The qn then becomes, shd i come because Jesus saves or because these caucasians (who supposedly have money) come to your church?

Does the reference to the American make the article or the points therein more believeable? Do we weigh indepth reporting and analysis and acceptance of circumstances because an AMERICAN was there?

O hail the great American. May you be noble as you bless our meeting.

O wow, i thought we were above that. Guess not.

3. In case you havent noticed, running around is actually healthy.

4. We are not required to fit some mould determined by one person. I think you (Dennis) subscribe to the whole God made us Unique thing.. the whole created is his image, fearfully and wonderfully made thing, right?

So if we do not write abt "developmental" things and disappoint people, this is why the INTERWEBS exist. It really is up to you to find what suits you.

its about CHOICE, baby!

Incase you havent read Carlo's rant... you may find it here.

Meanwhile in totally unrelated news, i think Dennis has a crush on tumwi. this opinion has been formed over time by the way. what say u?

i have decided to write this when i am not on the right side of sober, so i do not take responsibility for anything i might say now.

i am not thinking right and its an interesting feeling!

we are discusing feet at the moment and slowly progressing to the whole leg. We are talking about the perfection with which our legs are made.

Its interesting.

we have danced to ragea music and decided when the appropriate time to put up our hands when we are being ire is.

We have decided how many guards of milk we need to take on to determine "fit for marriage" criteria. Decided on how much we need to feed the woman to prove that the man takes care of his woman.

We have gossiped about this girl who turned up at a wedding in an embarrasingly short dress and made all the men's heads turn.

we have talked about facebook and the its detrimental influence on our social status as it is.

If this makes sense to u, u need to take some time out and reeeeeeeeeeeeeally look at ur life!


by the by, Moses (i assume from the Bible) has some how wandered into the conversation.

I know some of y'al been wondering where I am. I am out and about.

A tad rather busy and for some reason bloggers block found my address! thats not kewl Man!

Im going under for a while, but will be back... i hope.

Have you ever felt that things were about to go terribly wrong? 

So we decided to do something different-yes different. Contrary to what some people think, we do not only hang out at Rock night on Thursdays. 

Do I really want to be married? Do I really want to have children?

I'm told "I'm every woman". I am the lover, the girlfriend, the mistress, the nurturer, the confidant, the jutice seeker, the poet, the adviser, the mother. Surely if i skipped out on some of these titles I would still be a woman.

Do I really want to go down the road laid before me? Do I really want to be like every (or most) women whose main ambition is getting married, taking care of a man and having the bus load of kids?

Do I really want to live my life out as a statistic? What happened to individuality? What happened to using this thing called "free will"?

Do I really want to look back and know for fact that the one (or more than one) life I sincerly messed up was the one I bore? The one I took down a road a believed was the right one for him/her?

Do I want to be responsible for giving them false hope? Making them believe that to make it, you just have to believe and work hard leaving out the obvious, "life is out to get you" phrase?

How will I take care of them? How will I explain when i can not give them popcorn and ground nuts on their birthdays? How will I explain when I cant get them a television so they can fit in with the other kids?

How will I explain that I have to work so they can eat? How will I explain that its not because I want to be away from them but because i dont really have a choice?

How will i explain when Daddy walks out? when daddy doesnt want to be with us any more? Why daddy doesnt like coming home any more?

How will I explain(teach) to them that they wont grow up to walk out on responsibilities? How will I explain/show them that I love them enough for everyone else in the world?

How will I explain that Auntie Sara doesnt come home anymore because she was more interested in Daddy than any of us?

How will I explain why Jajja doesnt like them? How can i look them in the eye and tell them its because of me. Its because Daddy chose me and yet im from the wrong tribe/religion?

Do i really want to be the one explaining when things go wrong?

Do i really want to be that responsible? To be that hero that's never wrong? Who has the answer to everything?

I've got your man  And you can't do anything (about it)

 You may think he is coming back to you But (I doubt it) 

Don't make no sense you even call him And try to (work out it)

 Cause I've got your man And you can't do anything (about it)

                                                                  i've got your man- Lady Shaw

i can see myself reaching out to call her. To say to her, "hey, i won!". 

Im giddy with excitement, my palms are sweaty, i cant wait to hear her voice, 

i cant wait to hear her say, "Soap! You lie!"

That there is an example of what I think goes on in your mind when you decide to steal 

your friends man.

Jaz, does that happen? okay technically you were not out to steal him 

(and it was more about her than him) but its about the same thing isnt it? 

I know some people who are in that exact position.

 Both sides, one wants to reach out and gloat and the other is on the receiving  the call.

Why would you want to call this chick and gloat over the man? 

Coz you got him? SO bloody what? If you really think about it, I got him first,

 ergo you are second choice.

And what do you say when she calls?

Goody! Now i don't have to keep holding his hand?

What you think? lemme know.

If I had written this yesterday, I would have been bubbling with excitement.

If I had written this a few minutes ago, I would have been gushing about WANTED. I finally watched it and in the comfort of my home at that. I'm supposed to go on a movie date soon and debated on whether I should keep Wanted for then but after tumwi dissed Cineplex, in a round about kind of way, I could not allow myself to be one of the saps Cineplex is playing.

Definitely a must watch. If you are like me and do not do that much research before you go see a movie, you will have fun. That is not entirely true, at the minimalist end, I do inquire as to which actor/tress is in the movie. I almost did not watch Wanted because of James McAvoy. Something about that Idi Amin movie- Last king of Scotland- which I have not watched, by the way.

The movie scene choreography in this movie are phenomenal. I know I said if I had written this a few minutes ago I would be gushing and I just did but the movie was fun.

In other news, I am listening to Usher's Here I stand. I am not exactly impressed. Amend that to, I am not impressed. I thought I had finally found a soul mate in "U s her R a y m ond" but i was not meant to be.

on the other hand, after listening to Leona Lewis' Spirit, i conclude that i have landed on the sappiest music I have listened to in a while! You know the type, sweet, soft, melodic... unerringly believing in love and the human goodness... Good for going to sleep on.

In more important news, I want to write something out but the words are refusing to organize themselves. I really do not want to be a victim like Cheri but the way things are going...


I am also in loooooooooove with this song. What I like about You- Jon B n babyface.

Now, how to get that date.

Yes, I know I should have had this all worked out by now but first I thought it important to find the perfect person to go on the date with. I know, perfect here, is relative after all.

I had to find a person who I clicked with, who got my lame jokes and who thought I was wonderful. Don’t look at me that way. I know, we are all looking for some one who thinks we are wonderful and trust me, a chat room is the perfect place to find someone who thinks you are wonderful.

In cyberspace everyone is perfect. Every one smells like they just walked through flowers or are musky with some scent only they know the secret ingredients to.

In cyberspace, no one has broken teeth or limited eye vision.

In cyberspace, no one is broke. We are all rich! We all roll in dollar dollar bills!

SO how to tell the really nice guy from the crap? Well, you spend time talking to the person of course, if their story doesn’t change and they are not in some fanatical hurry to get into your pants, you are onto something. Well this is assuming, again, that you do not want your pants jumped into.

I will not bore you with how many frogs I had to “kiss” to find my date. I will rush now to tell you about the date.

I did nothing out of the ordinary. I am one of those people who believe in the whole “be yourself” theory. If I meet you in my jeans and Tee’s and you like me, I will make you proud one day when it finally crosses my mind to wear a dress.

I never want to be accused of being that girl who dresses up to catch a man and then could care less when the man is caught. I would rather shock you some day by “cleaning” up.

So, the date. I met him at rock night. Yes. Lumumba Avenue. In the midst of millions of rock happy Ugandans.

I was in my overly abused black jumper, pink shirt and pink lined jeans chilling with my friends. He was in a preppy sweater over white shirt and grey dress pants.

He had described himself as a nerd. I was some what shocked that he did not have limited vision.

The deal was I had to buy him the most expensive drink in the joint. When we asked the waiter, it turned out the most expensive drink in the joint was tusker malt larger (I think it’s called). We laughed ourselves silly over that. The ice, as they say, was broken.

We chatted for about 30 minutes, it was close to my curfew, I had to leave. I laughed so much and so hard that night. I decided it was like at first chat.

We hang a bit after that. We declared ever lasting love to each other after that. Sigh.

You must be wondering how I rushed this date. I wonder as well. Maybe I’m subconsciously encouraging you to go out there and go on a blind date. My theory is… you have nothing to loose, so why not?

I am getting a head of myself. I need to go through chat room etiquette so you can fully understand what I went through and help those of you who intend to venture into a chat room as a result of this post.

First. It is completely advisable to decide if you are going to be honest with the people you meet in the room or not. It is not some mandatory class room where you will be flayed if you with hold some information or create some information. In fact more than 90% of what you are told is probably a lie.

Second. Choose a name that reflects who you want to be seen as. If you want us to think you are an innocent, “virgin” might not be the best name to go with, for obvious reasons.

Third. Know your game plan and always stick to the plan. Make sure you catch onto who is hot and who is not. And pay attention to abbreviations as these tend to give away the newbie more often than not. Things like ASL (Age, Sex and Location), LOL (Laugh Out Loud), ROTFL (Roll on the Floor Laughing), LMAO (laugh My Ass Off) and BRB (be right back) should come naturally to you. These abbreviations will change, so make sure you pay attention.

Fourth. You are in complete control. You have no one to blame but yourself if things do not go the way you want them to go.

Fifth. chat is like having any other conversation. Sometimes things will come back to bite you in that unmentionable place. And please do not forget that chat is about word play, in reality, the person might not be as witty or as fast. Reality bites, I know.

Do not forget. Chat is a game.

Introducing the people you will probably find in a Ugandan chat room.

Kalema. He is usually that guy who works abroad, who has some dubious job that no one knows and has an opinion on everything. He is almost always a Muganda and anti government.

Opolot is exactly like kalema only he is probably Itesot. He is also anti government and tends to have strange conversations about fish.

Contra-Versy is that guy who wants you to think he is controversial just from his name. Not really creative but well, at least you know you wont get what you see.

Cynthia is like the oldest chick in the room and only talks to specific people and always about “clique-ish” topics. If you weren’t there when the conversation started, too bad.

Krystal is Cynthia’s replacement. She’s witty, seems to get on with many people and will probably be the cause of controversial topics.

Munene/big handsome/lonely is that chap you should be running from, assuming you do not want to get laid. He probably thinks using profanities is the best way to get a girls attention. He will probably turn on you should you refuse to engage in some conversation with him and call your mama all sorts of names.

Uk kid/man/boy probably wants to skip the whole ASL thing and have you think he is amazing simply because he has attached the UK bit. Do not be fooled. This guy is probably in some café in katwe with some questionable power connection.

Poison ivy and the cheerleader. Two girls, who are probably friends out of the chat room, are witty and can gang up on any brother who takes it upon himself to speak before he is spoken to. They tend to give off “can’t touch us” vibes and are the life of the chat room.

Mbeki/Mswati/His Excellence probably lives some where close to South Africa, hence his name. Is interested in politics.

Jimmy/Cathy/Sara/Dennis probably works at a café which explains why they are always online.

Pato feels like he is a lady’s man. He probably has met with (and supposedly slept with more than half the girls in the room). He is an ardent foot ball fan and always online. One wonders when he has time for his family and football. He does not live in Kampala but probably upcountry.

Darius, Devon, Darrell, Tyler, Taylor has a swanky name. You might land on one to match. Usually these are fakers.

I think that’s about it or at least the vital one’s you need to watch out for.

Now, how to get that date.