Tandra
Do I really want to be married? Do I really want to have children?

I'm told "I'm every woman". I am the lover, the girlfriend, the mistress, the nurturer, the confidant, the jutice seeker, the poet, the adviser, the mother. Surely if i skipped out on some of these titles I would still be a woman.

Do I really want to go down the road laid before me? Do I really want to be like every (or most) women whose main ambition is getting married, taking care of a man and having the bus load of kids?

Do I really want to live my life out as a statistic? What happened to individuality? What happened to using this thing called "free will"?

Do I really want to look back and know for fact that the one (or more than one) life I sincerly messed up was the one I bore? The one I took down a road a believed was the right one for him/her?

Do I want to be responsible for giving them false hope? Making them believe that to make it, you just have to believe and work hard leaving out the obvious, "life is out to get you" phrase?

How will I take care of them? How will I explain when i can not give them popcorn and ground nuts on their birthdays? How will I explain when I cant get them a television so they can fit in with the other kids?

How will I explain that I have to work so they can eat? How will I explain that its not because I want to be away from them but because i dont really have a choice?

How will i explain when Daddy walks out? when daddy doesnt want to be with us any more? Why daddy doesnt like coming home any more?

How will I explain(teach) to them that they wont grow up to walk out on responsibilities? How will I explain/show them that I love them enough for everyone else in the world?

How will I explain that Auntie Sara doesnt come home anymore because she was more interested in Daddy than any of us?

How will I explain why Jajja doesnt like them? How can i look them in the eye and tell them its because of me. Its because Daddy chose me and yet im from the wrong tribe/religion?

Do i really want to be the one explaining when things go wrong?

Do i really want to be that responsible? To be that hero that's never wrong? Who has the answer to everything?
15 Responses
  1. Anonymous Says:

    lol... popcorn and ground nuts for the birthday parties...

    it can be daunting but God gives us children and it is never by accident. ask for His guidance, you can never be perfectly ready to be a parent...

    He who has began the good work in you will be faithful to complete it... if not, i imagine that you can slowly go mad.


  2. the antipop Says:

    eh! i have no answers that's for sho!


  3. Anonymous Says:

    "How will I explain when I cannot give them popcorn and groundnuts on their brithdays?"

    Tandra, who does that anymore? They will probably thank you for saving them the 'kikati'.

    Don't worry love, you'll turn out just like the rest of them in the end. You will.


  4. kissyfur Says:

    Why are u even fretting about this now????


  5. Anonymous Says:

    U know u wanna.


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  7. Anonymous Says:

    me i do not want. why so many negatives?


  8. Anonymous Says:

    ...............nice post!1


  9. Anonymous Says:

    sijuyi whats the fuss all about?? kids are nice, i actually want one my self, just havent yet found who i want their mother to be


  10. Anonymous Says:

    sijuyi whats the fuss all about?? kids are nice, i actually want one my self, just havent yet found who i want their mother to be


  11. Anonymous Says:

    wow i guess the writing is from ur heart not head shake spear must take pride in u gal


  12. leos child Says:

    mhhhh i seem to have no answers but you know what take one day at a time and one thing at a time you will surely go mad.


  13. Anonymous Says:

    first of all, great template. makes miss blogger!


  14. Anonymous Says:

    ahem, i have one suggestion- marry me! it will be bliss i tell you :D