This afternoon i had the pleasure of engaging on a conversation that might have come to blows had it not been for the people engaged in it.
It all started out innocently enough. You know... talk nothing in particular. Let me introduce the participants.
T! (no introduction neccesary)
B: mother of one... corprate type
S: Mother of one, heavy with child
So,as far as I recall, the conversation started going south when B mentioned that she did not know about having other chidren. In fact she is going to enter an agreement with her boi, so they only have two more and thats that.
T, on the side, agreeing whole heartedly until...
B declares that he will have to go get a snip and tuck. So I nod as if in agreement until S makes a valid point.
SInce its you (the woman) who wants to not have children anymore, why dont you get your tubes tied?
Now, honestly at that point i did not know who to support. Im anti surgery especially coz of them pins n needles and subsequent pain so I advocate for it happening to someone else with all my heart. So no surgery for my gal.
But... considering SHE wants it stopped, not him, maybe she should be the bigger person.
B doesnt agree (and i see her point), she will have pushed 3 kiddies already. What wld he have done?
Moving on.... S suddenly goes on a tirade about women and how they should do what God intended and have kiddies.
At that point, i pulled off me earrings and pulled up me sleeves! Such comments get my goat like a problem. But then i decided to listen to whatever madam had to say.
S:God gave you a uterus, use it! He has provided you with the means.
T: so i have kiddies i can not take care of MBU because i have a uterus?
what logic is that?
S: Do you know how many women out there are dying to have children but cant? and you are choosing to be selfish and not have children.
T: I totally agree, a child is a gift and one that should be appreciated. But i have kids because i have a uterus.. JUST??!! Have you seen that woman in the park? She's cripped and has a kid, you even wonder which kind of man convinced her to have sex let alone have the kid. They sit on the steps together, one just as helpless as the other? Really S.. what happens to that child?
S: shd i be denied the chance to have a child because I am disadvantaged? I wonder about these gifts, if I can have child why not?? why shouldnt i?
T: I totally agree. But what about the child? You can barely take care of yourself!
S: Well we all have faith. Isn't that what you are always saying?
B: I do not agree with the whole have kids because you can and you have a uterus. Thats like saying the guy raped the chick because he was horny.
T: thank you B. Mbu because he had the means he was well within whatever was "natural" to rape the chick!
S: still! You are being really unserious! T, u cannot tell me you do not have the physical, emotional, financial requirements to bring up the kid!
T: at this point, no and i dont know if i want to have one. i mean "all things are permissible but not all things are good, right?
COnversation got cut shot around there... places to go, things to do and what not.
But seriously, shd i have a kid "because i have a uterus?"
I have hahaed people. What gets mine is people - strangers even - insisting mbu, 'muyonse' (breast feed her) as if they know my issues. Tziiiiuuus *jeers*
Why don't you go to BHH?
HELL NO! I have a uterus and I hate children!! Better not seen and not heard! Or if they must be seen and heard better they belong to someone else and not me.
That S lady is stoopid. Just like Georgie Bush.
Havin a child should be a mutual understandin coz it takes both of u to make one and raise one....i don't agree wit coz u ve a uterus u shd ve a child. Better still not everyone is destined to be a ma look at Cond...Rice or Oprah they ve it all but no children.
To assume that coz u ve a uterus u should ve a child is immature and ignorant
its yours to do with as u wish, or not. :-) the ones who want tons of children always will push those who wish not to have some and guilt them into conforming to what they themselves think.
Lol Minty....that is the spelling of a jeer?
-Miss Cheri
it's like i have had this discussion...
Having children is a decision that comes between two people who are into each other...
And yeah, just because you have a uterus, doesn't mean it is mandatory...
You also have to want it.
otherwise there will be a lot of despising and crap like that.
So, it takes a whole lot more than just because you have a uterus... you should have kids...
try telling that to the nuns.
lol... this is just hilarious.
eh, minty, they sure do tick you off.
okay that comment about you have a uterus and some women cant give birth is like the common comment your mama gives you when you refuse to eat,'dont you know there are hundreds of starving children in somalia?' like my eating albeit, my giving birth will feed the kids/add to the baren women!
Naawe, don't be selfish with your uterus! Donate it wholeheatedly to the common goal of filling (and killing) the earth!
ROTFL!
I think before any move is made to be a couple there is need for upfront communition on how many kids u will afford to take care of and be sure that the numbers u agree on will still keep ur wife the beauty u fell in love with that counts alot
Some of my weird friends in SA actually argued, 'having kids is selfish'. Discuss. Needless to say the weed they were smoking helped the argument last a whole month!
Having kids is selfish. They're only there cause you wanted them. Unless it was an accident or rape but that's not really what we're talking about here.
You wanted them so you had them. Did you really think 'oh I should have kids to populate the Earth' because anyone who actually really uses that reason to have kids is one sick individual.
T-have you heard of cysts? Sometimes when you refuse to willingly have a child, your body creates one for you! So- you carry this thing in your uterus instead of a real child!Which option would you pick? To have one voluntarily or to have your body decide? So- yes, because you have a uterus you must have a child or your body will do it for you!
Cysts aren't very common and you can have them even if you have had a child.
I think your friend S has a pretty lame argument. You can't just pop out babies endlessly because you happen to have a functional uterus. Arguing that it's the woman that has the baby, so if she doesn't want any, then she should be the one to get a tubal ligation is also dumb.
From a medical stand point, it's a lot easier to get a vasectomy done than to have a tubal ligation, or worse, the uterus removed. It's less risky and it heals faster. Men need to also take responsibility when it comes to reproduction and not leave the whole burden to the woman, even though ultimately, it is the woman's body and what happens to it is up to her.
PS @ Kiganda Skunk, having cysts has nothing to do with having kids or not so there's no need for you to sound so alarmist. Any woman can get them as they are more related to ovulation.
Decisions... consequences. Simply because you can does not mean you should. The uterus is yours to do with as you please. I say take it to dinner, take it jogging and yoga once in a while, give it A black forest Amarula cake, have man say hi to it once in a while... when it's ready to carry, it will tell you, and you can have that discusion with it then