Have you ever felt like you are no longer the life of the party? Like no one is actually waiting for you to turn up??? its a pretty weird feeling.. and no, just in case you are wondering, im not feeling like that. i just had one of those stray thoughts, one of those ones, when you are in a group and everyone seems to be talking over you, not really seeing that you are there.

Which reminds me. I have this group of friends which somewhat rotates, in terms of there are two constants and the other two are determined by whatever is happening. My sis jokingly told me that we had already replaced number three with a slimmer, funner, more adaptable to our plot version. Made me think of cars and phones.


Tid bits that made me smile, frown and wa'ever

1. I hear as a result of the sudden downpour, police is being hounded (through its helpline) by women demanding for sex. (wonders if resistability of police hard at work is somehow upped by their voices)
I somewhat think that this day, there was nothing Simeo (i think he's name is) had to report so he comes up with this line. (meanwhile i hear Simeo is a typical Ugandan, gives the weekly police roundup monday nights with his hands behind his head, relaxed like (havent watched).. im just hoping he aint sweating as he does his job (grins))

Also from personal experience i know police will do anything to get your number and err...hook up later.. irrespective of weather and what not... true story.

There i was innocently making my way through industrail area when i had to make an all important telephone call (something to do with drinks at party central) when i was chanced upon by the popo who didnt fall for my innocent "twasnt a celly u saw" routine. After tossing a few shillings, it became apparent they were more interested in my phone number than the dosh. More over, it was for a buddy of their who loooooves women and was currently searching. Kyoka men!

2. General kazini was sentenced to 3 years in jail..court marshal...MBU he cost the army 60mln in 2003 or there abouts for creating ghost soldiers (branches off into "toy soldiers-britney).

I think, in comparison to some other honourable members of our esteemed nation, this is a miscourage of justice. The dude only lost us 60Mln. Certain Health ministers and their buddies have cost us soooo much more and yet are living glamourous lives and have seen the inside of cells like once or twice before we conveniently forget their transgressions...but this is just me thinking....

Infact come to think about it, this CHOGM last bonanza, i suspect we lost more than that kazini dude and some peeeeeeeeps need to be held accountable. But u know what will happen..we shall have committees set up that spend mob in conference rooms, drinks, get-a-ways...deliberating...
and wont have anything to show for it, except accusing each other of recieving bribes in the process.

I swear, if any of you know how i can join these committees, lemme know! this could become my occupation.

Do you think if i actually found my local council representative, my proposal would somehow get to parliament? oba who is the lc?

3. Another reason why 'Mericans and Europeans have odd jobs. now MBU according to geneology charts Obama, Clinton and McCain are related to some famous people. Full story here.
It took about 3 years to determine this meanwhile..lots of research and possibly money.

Is anyone willing to put money into revealing the truth about some of our traditional rulers? It has been rumoured foooor fooooooooooorever that the kabaka for example is actually Lou. Im not for starting a war...so im stopping here.
Meanwhile, anyone know what happened to Prince Junju?

4.Craig David.The other day i also realised that im finally in a "fossil" category.He was doing this interview n waz asked how it felt to b back in the swing of things n he goes like ;
'its great being back, the response has been enormous..old guyz swinging n new ones just learning about me"

i was like "waiiiiiiiiiiiiit! craigy D has NEW fans? which means i b old! yay!!"

well i'd already decided that when my cuzin whose in s.5 now had no idea who babyface is

5. Last one.... some establishment i wont name..but wil do a review when i go back some time soon. This beez from my sisters account of the place, by the by. Her and the boo decided to go out for a light snack or something.

First off, this place beez one of those ones where they have fancy names for everything. Those things of fancy names like "oswolds swinger" which means "lemon and water".

I still dont understand why people will never learn! when you go to some place for the first time and they have a snack bar or something, do pass by and see whats available, it usually gives u a good idea of what to and what NOT to order.

So anyhu..so they be telling them abt jamiacan patty (i swear the guy says patty instead of patte, but who cares, right?).... i think thats the first misleading thingy so my sis is like "i'l have that"

(Had she followed my rule!!!!!)

meanwhile..price usually is an idication of wat u will get, yes? thing is like 7,500 and guess what it is?

First...i wld like to report that i am sick!!!! SICK! Put me in the corner sick! okay... a tad dramatic but iz suffering a cold.. one of those eye dripping, problem breathing ones that just leaves you wanting some much needed "alone time" because you are afraid you will pass it on.

Yes, so all of you who trully love me...im available to hang any time....anywhere... just be wear the "flu-fed baby" as my sis calls me.

I would also like to point out that this cold was a result of this past Easter break..weekend thingy that saw me travel to south western Uganda..to the land of milk and honey. Man, did it rain like it was being paid to no..paying may be too kind.. like it was going to get a bonus for doing so.

I got ropped into going to villa so i figured i shd make the most of it...did the idle chit chat thingy with the grandyz, the cousinz...the little town visits..the picture taking..the cow searching for..the works!

I also discovered that my grandfather made me suffer through a runyankole/rukyiga service for nothing! Now, u could argue that since this was the part of the country i was in...i would expect the service to be in that language (agreed), what i didnt know was that there's an earlier service in english.... isnt the point of church going to spiritual nourishment??

U wld not believe the number of times my mind wondered... well im sure u can...sure u been in this kinda situation may a time.

It did not help matters that from my front row seat (yes, we sit at the front where everyone can see u being mob idle) my knees got first hand feeling with all sorts of material. I know its Easter and you must make the various lines to make various donations/confessions/wa'ever....but must u walk that close to my poor knees?????

In other news... i think we are not taking this democracy or voicing of opinions thing very seriously.

I heard this morning that we have deposited 5mln dollars of the 48mln we need for the presidential jet. (I ranted about this earlier here).

In addition to this, i completely agree with this by the way, govt dished out 2bln to heart institute of Uganda (i think) which will make it more affordable for the average ugandan to get all the treatment they need. It knocks off about 10,000 ds and the ward will be bumbed from a 40 room thingy to 200..so this is good news....

Now colour me silly, but im still wondering just how deep our budget is. less than a month ago, kyambogo university closed its doors mainly due to funding. Makerere staff are forever threatening and myt this time actually walk away coz they havent been paid. (incase you havent submitted your thesis thinkgy, i suggest u do so post haste) But no matter how crazzy the education system gets..govt doesnt have money for it.

Universal Primary Education sort of just happened as will Universal Secondary Education.

Very recently, i heard govt is planning to cut back on its sponsorship of kiddies to University to allow for more people to join the private scheme.( havent been able to figure out the logic here... aside from downplaying ur talents artz wise so all of us have to be scientists, ofcos).

I know... u r wondering what my point it... how can govt expect to fit 700 people in an 100 seater class? As per usual, they make grand plans without thinking capacity and availability of funds. How can you "create job opportunities" when u dont offer ur citizens the "opportunity to learn skills to" take on such "job opportunities"?

How can we be expected to compete in the global market that we are soooo proud to be apart of and yet we are not equipped to take care of our own?

I understand that recently the president changed his mind of family planning/spacing and blah blah. Apparently originally, the arguement had been.. you need a big market to "eat up" the good... demand begets supply or some such rot.

I can see a bit of the logic, but how can u expect me to raise the 13 odd kiddies on the 20k i earn a month? I know..u have also introduced UPE, USE and one day UUE but how will they survive infancy? how will i be able to cloth them, feed them...educate them..become part of the "bigger picture" in this "better opportunity" country where to become successful u have to know someone who knows someone who IS someone?

okay...useless rant so imma stop here...

OOO...i so get Antipop when she calls Melanie (Sanyu FM) blonde.. i know melanie, u my gal and all but this morning! Mawe! u did it to us...I suspect you were having one of those "amusing myself" moments but!!

That boi (fat oba phat oba wa'ever) was talking about the presidential plane and wondering if they are like car dealers and will let us fly around in it as we pay the full amount off. Now Ms.bright has an inspired moment, talking about how the dealer should not be sooo trusting coz if the president isnt voted in, come next election year, she isnt too sure he will be able to pay off the amount.

Now honestly, i conc saw fat boi go like "waaaaaaaaaaat u smokin?" which was exactly wat i was thinking.

For those of you having problems grasping the significance of that err...melanie..statement..we talking govt property..or Ugandan property. The plane is for the office of the president not the president per se... so to qoute melanie right back at her "gal, that was a very pedestrian thing to say".

Now u know why i dont like listening to radio in the morning.

The other evening, i was yapping with a few about school and the words we used to use and generally things of "great import". As per usual with memories..some things u just had to be there... im wondering if you didnt have some of these happenings tho...

Class entertainment: where u were expected to wow the school with a beautiful well chorographed dance number (s). (((now that i think about it.. y did we always have to dance???))

But anyway..wonder if you had that lead "dance person" with all the instructions who would drill them in so that by the end of practice you are sooooorted.

How ever, the next morning, none of you could remember the steps.... even the "dance person"...LOL... those were the days...

lets see... words... ((interpretation is loosely based on my interpretation of said words)))

Suzi or suziee i suspect this was another way of saying "you joshin... kidding, joking, lying...

Bongo again-lying as in "u just told a fib" or u aint saying squat!

Fibbing....Spinning... see above

Jazzing yapping in short as in "can i jazz u" or "we were jazzing when....."

Banner/ burner/bana emerged from the bunsen burner oft in reference to s1's

Bana Bo/burner bo to date...i havent the slightest!

ki kati/stole ki mwana guy/charlie wats the plan??? whats up now? whats going on... whats the story? the mwana guy bit i always suspected was to just make it seem longer but anyhu..friend maybe?

charlies are usually young peeps about the town..myt also be shaddy by nature

Ki kati also in reference to the orangy/reddy look ur teeth take on when u have been innocently chewing on still husked ground nuts

Kiromo eve before holidays begin... which would be celebrated by housing oneself at the canteen right after "community work"

Housing/"giving in people" treating yourself and/0r peeps to some snacks or whatever

Community work cruelly invented term to get the school to clean up and give back to "community"

Earlymo scottish dancing in the morning 6'am style. Reserved for higher classes (s3-6) like highlight of your junior existance.

Green blooded turn coat juniors who suddenly felt sweet when they became A'levels

cata/kata/Mbogo misinteprete, mispronounce, misuse english

Onlie/onliay kinda like Only but with a twist on the end emphasis on whats being said..as if to say "munange!"

Zibs/bizibu problems

Be connecting word as in "You be there as i be here and we be meeting at that time then we be hanging okay?"

Split/bounce/burst/ blow this joint.... self explanatory

okay... need more input...as one foxylamb says... holla back!!!

ooooo please pass by skunk, interesting explanation/reason going down.

To some people, the idea of a shot gun wedding is a new phenomenon. The idea that you can get married against your will (because you have been caught in a compromising situation) is totally foreign- foreign but not unheard of and before you start thinking that these things must happen in autocratic states, they could even happen in Uganda today. The extent to which the “gun” is pulled out will vary but at the end of the day, it is a means by which a couple is forced to marry.

The idea of the shot gun wedding evolved in response to changes in society’s acceptance of what was morally acceptable and the importance placed on the sanctity of marriage. It is the propagation of older generations that marriage is the structure into which couples enter and everything related to the marriage bed should be consigned to it and not out of it and generally, young people straying from this edict should be brought back to the straight and narrow.

Today more than ever people are not taking the institution of marriage that seriously for a number of reasons key among them being that sexual relations, the key reason to get married, are no longer being restricted to the marriage bed. Society has become so lax about the whole “no sex before marriage campaign” that you are ridiculed because you are sexually inexperienced.

The pressure being applied from social groups and media content to appear “sexy and confident” are often translated into being sexually experienced and not limiting yourself to just one partner. It often comes across as a competition between males and females to best each other at sexual prowess which is at odds with what we are taught about being appreciating the beauty of sex and the point of engaging in it within marriage.

Many of you would scoff at the idea of “being sold into marriage for free” but this could be the answer to some of the problems we are facing today. You would think that the fact that we have issues like HIV/AIDS and other STDS would deter people in their discovery of sexual fulfillment but most people I have talked to would rather get AIDS than become pregnant. The logic behind this is you can hide your HIV status but not that telling bump.

By the time it is becoming common place for your parents (should they be bothered to) not to ask your suitor what his intentions are because your suitor changes much faster than the tide does, then its time to step back and ask yourself if marriage as an institution will actually live past the present generation or if men (and women) will take responsibility for the lives that they bring into this world.

It might be argued that because of the way you are forced into marriage, bitterness may grow and your husband might abuse you because he was cornered into taking you on- not neccessarily physically of course.

I think that for all the brutality and finality of the short gun wedding, this might be a way to right some wrongs. If your father and brothers stood up for you, your husband would not even think of taking on young innocent girls, the practice of "sugar daddy's" would be some what curtailed which would in turn reduce on the spread of HIV/AIDS and STDs.

I recently discovered a black berry tree in the village and i was oooooover the moon. Unfortunately the fruit wasnt ready for harvest.....heartfelt sigh.......

N lastly....i havent posted any food recently ((grins))...so here's a plate...

So after Nathan said i shd've my own agony aunt column and kissyfur teased me mercilessly and another peep told me to grow up, i went into semi detachment.

Blogging became like some exam i couldnt afford to fail which it aint about, its about expressing ones self to the ninez.

I have thus evaluated my current situation and have drawn up a plan of action ((who am i kidding???...that would be waaay tooo much work!))

so here are my randomzies....

1. Went to Makerere University (commonly refered to as MUK as opposed to the MAK its supposed to be) in the name of certificate acqusition. that means i took a gentle stroll to Senate to help everyone else who has not been through the process get a feel of the thingy. i took some pictures of some silly things that are sooooo ooooo MUK so when i find my cable, will post.

The certificate process is waaaaaaaaay shorter than the transcript one coz apparently once u graduate the certificates are printed (((for the 20K u pay, u'd think they were going to get embossed paper or something but nooooooo.... )))

this is what you need: copy of ur receipt (showing u did pay for the certificate n convocation, i think), valid id and a pen...nanti u know these people always want you to write things about you. You'd think that after 3 yrs on the hill they have enough data on you but noooooo always want to know more.

Meanwhile whats the deal with wanting to know the email address?? Every form has a section for you to fill, like they will ever send u mail... honestly, has any of you ever recieved an email from MUK?????????

2. Be silent keeps asking about antonioz grill...still think its a story better told in person but as you are up north n i prolly wont see you until BHH...assuming we both turn up (me i will be there if you promise to bring cake))

So this friend tells me about The Secret, which was actually discussed like 3 BHH's ago and decides that i should watch it so we can have a stimulating conversation about it later on. Meeting point- Antonioz grill.

Now i was under the mistaken impression that since Antonioz is always advertising, they were relatively kewl people. What no one told me is that it also happens to be a kiddie (read teenager) place.

I get there hungry, so i ask kissyfur wat i should eat and she advises (wisely as i later learnt) not to eat anything but as i was dying and had about 30 minutes to kill i decided to have the mexican plate.

All im saying in Antonioz "mexican" food is an embarassment to Mexican-food-wannabe-creatures everywhere-nuff said.

The place was crowded so i was forced to sit more or less in the sun...... yes...will definitely finish this story in person.

3. I have said this before and i will say it again. I have issues with people who write about things i want to comment on and they want to moderate my comments (yes KK, im talking about you). I mean, if u want to do that, make it a private blogy thingy like Keit...... i know its your blog and you can do whatever you want with it.... but....err...cld u try not being so interesting... yes, that would help. Thank you.

4. After tumwi's mechanic horror stories, im a bit se-kep-tical about letting cars out of my sight unless i have it undersome realllllly good authority that the car should be first be fixed and by so-and-so. Step in mechanic who goes to fix manya rave plates (as u can clearly see i havent the foggiest so wont explain what exactly he was going to do). he then returned to tell me that the fuel gauge had issues.

No kidding, sherlock...have known that ever since the car was acquired, actually.

I figure he really wants to do his job.Hope it comes back in one piece. Dont have the dimes to fix other issues.

5. No, Bomseh, im still hunting down a crush...illusive they are.

6. Ed was every so kind to redirect our attention to........" How much is your blog worth?" i am happy to report that... if twas possible to translate this into actual money....... this weekend, all of you woulda been soooooooooorted.

1. I have been thrown out by my interweb crush because he has chucked us of the single fame and moved into couple bliss. I suspect its because he is supposed to concentrate on her like 100%...



Qn: why is it that guyz throw out friends when they get into relationships?? Ever heard of multitasking??? Afterall your WHOLE life cant be about your "love"

So im hunting a new crush...anyone takers?

2. Have u ever had that conversation with a 'tight" and realized that you have nuthing whatsoever in common with them? So u sit there wondering how you have gottten on for the sooo many odd years you have known each other.



3.Neyvah go to Antonioz grill. Nuff said. i have a story to tell but its one of those for "in person"..hit me up..will let u know.



4. Im hating on everyone who watched "Hot Steps" starting with Dee. Every one is yammering on about it like tis the best thing since toothpaste! but hey!! i will not miss out on this one.. so those of rock night...we myt have to reconsider..oba do an early thing :D ..you see ,these Ugandans dont want to do a re-run for me on sunday when im extremely bored.

Incase you do no know what hot steps is... its Uganda's solution to "Dirty Dancing" or "So you think you can dance" without the fancy dance routines, lovely dance stages and err...actual dancers (u know, those people who actually plan to make millions from dancing.. its like..their job! u know). We've Remmy (fink he's name is remigisious in full or something) he's apparently a hooooooooot choreographer (not as in cute hot) maybe bizwize hot..altho i always do wonder how come the obsessions' have the same dance routine if they have such great peeps on board....

Then we have michael..now with kombat dancers. In as much as i dont agree with the copy cat thingy, i think it wld have been good to balance the act out with a chick or even another guy, but thats just me..

From all accounts its the show to watch simply because it will have u in stiches! NTV, thursday at 9,yes????

5.i had a somewhat dull weekend.. yours?

As a result of that kissing sex overated post and reactions to it, i have come to the conclusion that most of you want to believe in the whole "love on cloud nine" nonsence..err..sorry...thingy..theory ((thats not it...one last try)).......... feeling (yay!!)


You want to believe that kissing and sex is an "art", something you take the time to understand, appreciate, perfect together. You want to believe (and some have indeed proved) that you need to be with the right person, the right frame of mind to have a go at it..... no..make that, to make it work to the level that you are content.

But lets be honest here. Many of you (dont worry, wont name names) would whole heartedly agree with me when i say that prostitution is really an easy trade to join.

Hear me out before im burnt at the stake!

You have been in that situation, you dont mind John but u arent ga-ga crazy over him. He's a nice enuf bloke and you know he's crushing on you. You are feeling like you "want to be wanted" so he leans in to kiss you and you let him kiss you. All the while he is getting more excited about where things could lead, you are thinking to yourself "dang! this brother dont scrub his teeth right". You are soo totally unmoved by the whole experience. But you think...oo well Johns always there for me, even when Ian doesnt feel me...i just want to be held and before you know it..down the little path of discovery (or is it instant replay?) you have gone.

As KK said, its really a simple case of mind over matter... if u don't mind it doesn't matter...

So the qn then becomes, what made some of you incurable romatics? What made some of you want to take that walk with "the one" (assuming it aint all bollocks and there is indeed "a one")).

Could it be that all the propaganda material actually worked on you? ALl the "ever after" lingo somehow reached you on a personal level huh? that song with that ka "you n me were meant to be, together for e---ternity" line did its thing???

I suppose its this faith thing thats got you going...this belief that there is someone out there for you. Yes....faith is a beautiful thing.. which is why we are told that if you mess up and end up with the wrong person, you will make a mess of four lives (yours inclusive)

Do you really want to be stuck with that responsibility???? ((just asking......))

Im guessing this is why most of us dont only want to marry the first person we date. LOL

before i forget, i hear this is the key to being a HOT kisser.. MIMIC! if he is kissing you a certain way, he prolly thinks you will like it so if u do the same... u are assured that he will be in sikith heaven!

n to loot a line from the Emrys, you know it makes sense!

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.


I am a dreamer but when I wake,You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to beI've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

James Blunt....

After jas said she'd left like huh? thot i shd make it more legible.

We have all been told (wonder who by and why) that when someone is into you, they will go out of their way to make sure you know this and do things that make you happy. This in effect means that he will move heaven and earth, if he can, to make you smile and dedicate sappy songs so you can smile yourself silly.

but really, wat defines this "being into someone thingy". how do u even know you are at that point?

It is apparently an assumption to think that just because you spend countless hours with this guy, feel the spark, become intimate..share dreams n aspirations that you are actually a couple.

Puzzling........yes. How to be sure?

Either you wait for him to actually ask you out...or you could ask him or play dumb especially if you dont want to actually be tied down ((grins)).

Other ways to know u in the zone?
Spend oodles of time together....find things to do together. Apparently this helps with the knowing each other and learning about each other part, so u know what to expect whenever.

Now, this is of some interest to me. Suppose me n darlington dont spend any physical time together and spend even less time actually doing any activities together but we text n chat like mad n actually know what we are doing, going blah blah blah....

Does this mean that coz darlington never turns up to dinners, buys me roses, hangs with my friends, never introduces me to his friends...err..watelse...doesnt know where i live n vice versa... that we are infact not a couple?

Some would say...we aint! Because he just inst into me.

But now people...who decides what "into" someone is?

Now some of you are squirming in your seats...cant waiit to jump to comments section but hear me out... i have heard that for a person to really be "into" you...they do things that would make you happy n themseleves in the process.

But if you really think about it...what then makes Peter different from Ivan. If they say they are both interested in me and go out of their way to express this... by spending "quality" time..hanging out...creating/sustaining together activities, listening to me..sharing dreams... spending the hard earned dimes... arent they just exhibiting traits Rashid and James would???

Infact darlington who eventually makes time myt be the more genuine article.

Makes u think some,huh? Now the more romantic of you are all going mushy thinking Tim knows you like no one before because aside from being suuuuuch a great guy, he knows how to make you happy. but isnt Tim reallybeing the stereotype which in effect means ....you and him are fitting a profile????? U aint really doing anything new...if you think about it....just creating a "someone" to go do "normal" things with......

okay... i meant to say template is changing to this.... 27th but since blogger wasnt coperating then, i cldnt change it.

In other news.... turns out im nursing a broken heart.Apparently, i got dumped coz i was after the guys money and i think im nursing a broken heart.

I was soooo amused when i heard this, you have no idea! the killer part was this apparently started with me...the whole rumour thing.

So i have resolved to step up my game!!! Ideas anyone??

In accordance with ealier demands and for purposes of maintaining the peace, i will maitain this template until my blogspot birthday or there abouts ((grins)) so y'al wont have to suffer so much.

Now the post....

I’m one of those people who probably wont know your name at the end of a conversation or where you work or where you went to school.

According to me, this is all window dressing. I have known people who have treated me differently because of my name, what school I went to or where I live. I mean, really, these things about me don’t make me “me”. I must confess that I have also fallen into the trap of “judging” people basing on something they have revealed about themselves and not always positively.

Some one is classified as a possible player with bad breath because he went to Ntare or she’s a player because she went to that wild Nabisunsa School. There are people who fit the stereotype but isn’t it just that? A stereotype?

I have a friend who, once I have introduced her to another person, knows “more” about them than I do. It worrying sometimes but other times I brush it off, because lets face it…your name isn’t who you are.

Who you are is what you do with your life. i think.

I met Rashid three days ago at a little quaint bread shop over looking some traffic...idly watching people walk by, all trying to get home by eight.

We did not care, all we were interested in were each other..... enjoying each other.

I care about Rashid and he cares about me, only, he more than me and sometimes that scares me. If he is being honest, then he will be hurt when he finds out that for me, this is just killing time waiting for traffic to die down.

I am not unfeeling...well, not most times. Rashid is an interesting speciemen at the moment.. i can push, prod and spring back because i know, he will smile at me and tell me its all alright.

He says i understand him... i was there for him at the moment he needed me most. I can vaguely remember the moment and im too sensitive to ask what exactly he is going on about.

Rashid wants us to become a couple. I smile at him and he asks why im almost laughing at him. Im not trully, im just bemused.

How can i tell this kind gentle spirit that nothing will come of this because he wont ever be able to figure out exactly who i am. Its not because i wont tell him or let him in...i just know deep down..he wont get me and i think it would be all too easy to get him.

He says im grown up now, i can tell him what i think. Yes i can...but will he understand it? Will he be able to figure out that i let him have his way because it would be too complicated to explain exactly what i mean?

The question is will it actually matter when he finally catches on? or will i have tired of being ellusive, mysterious and "deep" and moved on to more enterprising individuals? Will it matter that i might have hurt him? After all hearts should be broken over so much more than some idle gal you are infatuated with.

Went to a cafe this morning in the name of downloading something so i could fax it but found an inccccccccccccreadibly slow link plus an increadibly iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrritable cafe chick. You'd think she'd be excited coz my misley binusu would be contributing to her salary but noooooooooo!

my weekend went relatively well...will tell all some time soon....another cafe chick beez eying me! feel like singing my own version of "its my life" Bon jovi. waiiit..im going too far.....