Tandra
Dear Sirs and (or) Madams,

I must commend you all for giving Uganda the chance to host this meeting. We are a trully blessed people, a blessed nation. i have a few questions though, especially concerning the people who convinced you to let us host this meeting.

What crack did they hand out? For real? what variety was it? comeone, u can share with me.

I do not have any doubt in my mind that we can host this meeting, i just think we are not equipped to host it. WHich brings me back to my original supposition which is some Brilliant negotiation musta gone down!

I somewhat blame you for some changes the country is undergoing as a result of this whole summit thing you got planned.

I recently found out, ofcos i had suspected for a while, that bodaboda's shall not be allowed to roam the city during this period. How long is CHOGM again? i understand its more than the 3 days those "ready for CHOGM" adverts proclaim..somehow a lot of miscommunication is going on..somewhat similar to voting and the census in this country..oh well..moving on.

The bodaboda is a much part of our culture as is matooke or even jambula. But because you swavy guyz and ur pals are visiting us, we must hide this beautiful tellin tale of our lives.

I think thats not brilliant. First off, as a result of ur numerous meeting points, traffic will be murder and how do u avoid the said murder? Boda boda..but noooooo! u dont want...im just saying...not brilliant!

Apparently we are also working on the waterways so we can have three active means of transportation during this period. Not to be pessimistic, dear committee, but i think u can count the waterways being ready by then out! i saw a ka clip with them..not gonna happen! but we are still holding our breaths. from all our collective breaths (air) (yours and ours) we might be able to float all'a y'al above the general population.

Speaking of which, any news of if the helipad at Garden city (or is it silver city) is ready? Must speak to the management, it myt feature in "Spots to visit while in Kampala"..not bad! not baaaad at all!

Rumour has it that we might have to change the way we speak that woman (read the queen)'s english. Make it more....understandable. As a result i have been swimming in the doh. i am currently teachin the natives how to sound Arabian or at worst Mexican. Good, yes?? Business has never been this good, thank you.

Unfortunately i must run off now, jambula tree climbing is back on vogue and i must not miss my chance to shine like the star i am. ooo , not forgetting kimere (thats food to you) at mama browns. You prolly wont get the chance to eat at mama browns because apparently her cusine isnt to ur CHOGM standards. wat with cholera being back in these here part of the world, ugandans not making up their minds on wether they are happy or sad (the whole suicide thing that went down), or the government not coming through on promises (recent strikes in kiseka) and general mayhem that rocks the country.

Later.......
5 Responses
  1. Lindah Says:

    If we gonna change the way we speak, then we gonna change wording;
    Jinja - Jinjer
    Kiwatule -Chiwatuleh
    Kabale -Cabrley
    Lunguja-Lungugar
    Kyengera -Chengerer
    I guess t'llbe easy for me that way coz ive even failed to write them in their original context. Good Luck Uganda!


  2. The 0ne Says:

    Ha! Mbu change the way we speak! dammit, those peeps are okay with the way our brodas speak the language-oh! Ain't no way in heck am i gonna change the way I n I speak... Well what do you know, I just did.


  3. Funny!

    You just gave me a money-making idea. I'm going to offer boat trips down out 'waterways'. How better to see the beauty of Kampala?



  4. lulu Says:

    i know! i am wondering why authenticity must be shrouded in a cloak of deceit, beats me... this bes the traits of the briton in us... do you remember the sitcom 'keeping appearances?' we have learned from the best!