Was I being that selfish when you asked me what I wanted from this and I told you what I expected? Was I that selfish when I told you what I expected? When I asked you what you wanted and did not get an answer?

Was I being selfish when I did not push you to meet those expectations? Was I being selfish when I figured you would eventually get round to meeting them? Was I being selfish when I gave up expecting you to ever meet my expectations?

I thought I had it all figured out- I would let you do your thing, just as long as you let me part of your life. I settled for what ever you gave me. Maybe I was being selfish; I just wanted you to be in my life.

Apparently that was not enough. I should have asked what you wanted. Maybe you expected me to push you, I know, I don’t always remember things that should be important, I figured you would tell me it was important, wasn’t that the deal?

Now you tell me I was selfish, that I did not understand what compromise meant, I was only out for what I could get and yet it was supposed to be a give and take situation.

I thought that was what I was doing. I’m not perfect; I have my own quirky issues to deal with. How was I supposed to know that what I was doing was wrong? What did u want me to do, walk away the moment I realized you could not meet my expectations?

Not giving me what I want doesn’t make you a different person. It just makes you more human and more realistic to deal with. It is not a sign that I will walk away. I thought we were above this, apparently I was wrong.

You tell me you still want this to work. I don’t know if it can, me knowing what I know now. I’m afraid to say anything to you, I’m afraid to do anything because I figure I’m screwed either way. When I’m sure I should be moving right, you are busy taking two steps left. When I move left, you take five steps right.

We talk all the time; I just don’t think we understand each other. Every time I feel we have made some progress, turns out I was the only one who attended that particular session.

Maybe its time to say goodbye or am I just being selfish again?



Listening to: Like you’ll never see me again- Alicia Keys.