I was innocently minding my own business, enjoying my space as it were when I chanced upon style network on Dstv. I know, I don’t seem style conscious and most of the time I’m not. Actually that’s not accurate, I’m not fashion conscious in a way that I will see some article of clothing and know it’s a Vera Wang or Gucci. I mean, the only way I know is if I see some really bad print with the name plastered all over the place. Whatever happened to being understated?

I think I would be interested in African designers and I’m not talking about that Congolese man on Kampala road (assuming that is where he still is) next to Biplus. I understand he is a wizard when it comes to clothes. Going on what I see in that area (kitenge central) I don’t know if that saying anything for the man’s talents.

So I’m looking for someone locally who can do a good job and have the clothes made. As far as I know Suubi of the New vision does great sketches. Must see about hooking up with her some time. To what occasion I will wear her fabulous clothes I have no idea but then again, I hear a girl can’t have enough clothes.

The style network is just that a combination of all things stylish from person (body) to house. There are a number of things you could learn actually.

The one series that got me into trouble recently was “style my nest” with Thom Filicia. It’s about him taking ideas about who you are, what you want and translating that into a space, (in your house obviously) that you would feel comfortable with. He preaches balancing your personality with space available and puts to rest some design myths.

Some times his ideas will work other times you go like “huh??” It does not help matters that his assistants are usually there to boost his ego. It’s like they are programmed to say “your work in beautiful Thom, you go boy!” every time he asks “what do you think?”

So after one too many (okay too few because they repeat the episodes all too frequently) I decided that the house needed an over haul. A complete re-organization so to speak. So I enlisted the help, albeit half heartedly, of my comrades and we started (actually more accurately I) started on this project.

Four hours later, I only had this to say: Ouch! Back. Aches. Dirty. Tired. Cant. Keep. Eyes. Open.

I got rid of so much clutter its amazing but if you came see the space I was working in, you would ask just what I did because interestingly enough aside from actually seeing the floor, it looks exactly the same.

It was then that I discovered how much of a hoarder our combined selves are. The African mentality of saving for a rainy day is still very much in evidence. There is stuff in this house we use once in maybe 2 years, if that but its still sitting here, gathering dust and making the house look much busier than it really is.

I just think its time to move on from certain things. Which reminds me, I understand there’s going to be a yard sale of sorts at KPC central so if you have stuff to get rid of, this might be a good time to do so.

Another show on the channel is “clean House”. I like this one. I had always thought Americans believed in sparsely populated houses probably because all my sightings have been through magazines. The guests on this show take the lived-in look to another level. So the “clean house crew” comes in, listens to the needs/wants of the family, clears the house, has a yard sale, money raise goes into recreating the space they are working on, then family moves back in, everyone’s happy.

The problem is when they team is done, your house looks like magazine material. We keep on wondering if they ever go back to check on those people because it would be interesting to see if they actually stuck to what changes were brought on.

So if your feeling inspired to change the way your house looks, take a peek if you can. You might learn more than you bargained for.

I recently read that archaeologists in Cairo recently discovered an alabaster head of Cleopatra and a mask thought to belong to her lover Mark Antony have been found near Egypt's Mediterranean city of Alexandria.

Quick history lesson, Cleopatra was the queen of Egypt some good time ago. Nuff said.

I would really like to stop the explanation there but I guess that I should make the Mark Antony connection for you. He was her lover and as it goes with these stories, it ended in tragedy. He commits suicide along the way and she kills herself shortly after.

Talk about predictability. When haven’t these “tragedy’s” ended any other way... but if you really think about it, is it tragic to end your life? To take control of the situation? I don’t know if it’s better to live your whole life waiting for the guards (once there’s a violent change in government) to take spears or daggers to your neck.

I say... good for you! Don’t ever let anyone determine your sell by date!!

Another somewhat important connection here (Mark Antony and Cleopatra) is a play written by William Shakespeare titled Mark Antony and Cleopatra (I know, sometimes picking names for plays is soooo easy, they like suddenly leap off a page and you think “yes this will do nicely!”)

Did you know that Cleopatra hooked up with her brothers/husbands Ptolemy XII and Ptolemy XIII? Although apparently there is a possibility these marriages were not consummated and in case you are wondering, no, they did not have any children ( her and the brothers).

Imagine this today… in the name of cementing your future as president (a bit of a stretch that, lets bring it down to Cultural leader) you align with your brothers or sisters. African culture would NEVER allow that to happen regardless although I’m not sure it never ever did…

Kind of how certain people frown at the thought of and existence of prostitution claiming that it isn’t African. My question is by saying this, are you implying that it is one of those things “those people” taught us? One of those habits “those people” brought with them that we took to because we did not know any better?

A barefaced lie if ever there was one.

First off the actual definition of prostitution is hard to come by. It has been defined as the act of offering your body (usually women) for money but with sexual diversity being what it is, men do sell their bodies as well for money. Sometimes the motivation for prostitution is not money per se; it might be sexual gratification for example.

As it is usually associated with lewdness and promiscuity, when a woman marries a man for his money and thus sleeps with him to ensure her place in his life, is that too prostitution? Or is she exempted?

I don’t know why our minister of integrity and what not is bent on acting like this does not exist or if he does acknowledge it, he doesn’t want to give them a chance to mobilize themselves. Every body has a right to assemble and what not.


I know, I over extended the history lesson and got carried away telling you about other things and notions I have. Back to the discovery, I have always wondered if I would have made a good archeologist or if I or anyone I knew ever wanted to be one. The idea of digging holes and studying bones just never appealed to me.

Okay, that’s not entirely true, after one too many episodes of CSI and Silent witness, I tend to convince myself that I could have actually become a pathologist and then I remember the state of the Uganda police and decide it surely isn’t worth it.


I understand this discovery is a huge deal because of what it represents in terms of history and our understanding of Cleopatra and Mark Antony and what not.

Unfortunately for me, the moment I hear the word, discovery, I tend to snigger. That history lesson in P.3 (I think) cured me of all illusions. John Hanning Speke and his buddy's discovered the source of the Nile, some other chap the Nile itself. I keep wondering how the natives had missed it all those centuries before.

Just because you give something a name does not mean people did not know about it before or did not refer to it in some other way.

In addition, no offence intended and what not, no one really knows what Cleo looked like so for all intents and purposes shall we just go around branding any old head we find Cleopatra?



Disclaimer: the author is not a history nut.

Today i was chatting with a chap who let me know that he didnt want a "dumb woman". When i asked him for a definition, this was his answer :

"those who think every thing good comes from the husband from pants to pads"

His arguement is they take leave of their brains and insist on milking him as the man.

I was amused by this no less... so i asked this qn: do u mean to say ur wife shd not rely on u in any way?

Its one of those yes/no questions.

SO im asking for your opinion on the matter... just how much should you rely on your partner and more especially in this age of "emancipation" and what not.

Win 2 tickets each for the new Indiana Jones movie premiering at Cineplex. Type Ij3 and send to 8198. Fifty pairs to 2 be won. The more you send, the better ur chances.

Qn: I'm a bit lost at "win 2 tickets each".. just how many of us have access to this number?

Come 2 the kirk Franklin Show! Pass this SMS 2 a pal & enter a draw 2 win 100k airtime or 2 tickets! Type KIRK yr pal's no. & send to 8008 e.g KIRK 07110000

First time i was like "pass this SMS"... eh! then it hit me that example listed looked suspiciously like a number cheri used to have... hmmm!

During Akon period i got this one:
0754889203 invites U to Akon. U are now in a DRAW for a FREE TICKET. Invite a Pal, Type AKON A PAL's Celtel no. to 8198. (e.g Akon 712....))

Kati, im not on celtel for very good reasons... hello!

I must have deleted the MOST annnnnnoying on them all. Every saturday i get one from DMARK people telling me to gamble on soccer. EVERY SATURDAY at about 10 am.

Tukoye!

Isnt there something we can do about these things? Isnt there a way you can get off these mass marketing campaigns? Dee... isnt there a way??????

i mean, its evading my private space and what not, right? what happened to only receiving messages from people you actually gave your number to? Not these chaps who you subscribe to and suddenly you spend countless hours deleting irrelevant messages from your already too small inbox!


*** in unrelated news, i hear Uganda police marine unit only has 4 professional scuba divers. FOUR. what is interesting, according to me anyhu, is they are all from Northern Uganda. what gives???

But back to Cassia Lodge, we decided to have a whole buttered tilapia (had some fancy name i cant remember) and fish fingers and fries (please note, twas a kiddie portion).

The highlight of the evening was when we ordered the traditional Dame blanche, i think its called. the description said it was ice cream with chocolate something or other and had  something Belgiumy in it. 

I know size can be daunting but don’t worry, I love you.
Penguin-Happy Feet (cartoon)

The debate about someone’s height in a relationship has always gone on. It probably will till go on till the end of time. I have many people to blame for this debate. Let me list the people I think ought to be strung out for making height such an issue.

Older children. When I was much younger and much shorter and in elementary school, our school canteens were fashioned for the taller kids. I’m guessing the idea was to make it as hard as possible for children with sticky fingers to get away with swiping the samosa’s (beef and rice) , meat pies and bean pies (yes, we had bean pies, don’t know who came up with this idea, but apparently they sold like hot potatoes).

Some of these clearly ingenuous children decided that they would help you (short peep) out by ordering whatever you wanted for you. Such helpers these children were.

The problem was that after a while you would notice that your long awaited for bean pie was not making an appearance and you had actually lost sight of the helpful Samaritan. Given that we were over 2800 kids, I always wondered how anyone would be so trusting when you did not have a hope in hell of finding your Samaritan.

I think I ought to point out that I was never a victim; even then I could spot a line.

Biology teachers. Now, I was never one for sciences but I did pay attention that one biology lecture when some person I can’t remember labored to explain X n Y chromosomes and manya things that determined your hieght ratio, so to speak. I remember thinking at the time “Now how did math enter biology?”

I labored to understand the concept until I finally picked up on the whole probability of having short children because I happened to hook up with a guy who has some repressed short gene along the way with decides to hook up with a very dominant short gene at mine.

Genes. Yes, God’s way of putting us together. This detail that determines that some people can be tall and light like you or short and dark or whatever.

Friends. Ever notice how your group of friends seems to balance out physically? You all cannot be tall and slim or tall and built or short and pudgy. There’s always the one extreme of all of you, the tall slim one, the short pudgy one, the light one, the dark one.

So really when you think about it, you would feel extremely weird for you to turn up with someone who is about your height and you happen to be the shortest in the group added to which, they make comments like “ hey shorties! What’s going on??” or “You guys look soooo cute together! Like kindergarten children holding hands!!”

And then, as if to emphasize your short stature, they form a sort of protective circle around you. You go places and then you realize that you are always in the middle of the circle or the middle of the line and you think “awww! That’s so sweet!”

But on some other level you are wondering why your height or lack there of is such a big deal. Why is it now that your love is about your height, suddenly everyone thinks you cannot take care of yourself?

Personal conviction. After years of letting height work for you or against you, you suddenly believe it is suddenly the thing that contributes to what decisions you take on in your life.

So you decide that you are going to be the coolest singer and stage presence person, regardless of your height or lack there of.

The problem with this personal conviction angle is well, it’s you making up your mind about number issues and there is only so much a person can do as a result.

So this is my most valuable tip ever ... Get over it!

I went shopping for a present yesterday. Apparently when people are in the process of little people acquisition, we show our support by splashing a few shillings around the place.

The number of shillings you spend of course depends on who you are, who you are spending on and why (yes and why) and who the other people spending are.

I have gone to countless parties where you are expected to present gifts but you are shy to because Sheila buy’s her gifts from banana boat (and thus you assume she spent millions) while you went to the friendly alley shop and spent your hard earned shillings.

When the gift getter opens the presents, you cringe and ask yourself why they could not open them later when all of you have returned to what ever dark hole (thanks to Umeme) you reside in.

One thing I have learnt from gift presentation though is, especially when you are giving the gift to a lady, they will probably work out how much you spent anyway so you should not apologize for being so cheap. A guy will probably never stop to think about just how much you spent, chicks just need to glance at it to know that you spent a paltry 3k on them.

This is one of the reasons I feel sorry for boyfriends and more so when their “gift” gets displayed to everyone. When your gal knows you have spent on her, she will gladly show off her latest acquisition but if on the other hand she knows how much you did not spend, you will never see the said gift again, unless of course you ask after it and she has not thrown it away or loaned it to her cousin who lives in the village.

I think there’s nothing worse than your friends eagerly asking what present your boo got you and you are too shy to show it to them especially when your friends don’t like him to begin with. It’s like giving them unqualified incentive NOT to like him even more. You go to sleep listening to things like “yeah he doesn’t appreciate you. Can u imagine he spent 1k on you. Even Kasim (Nail design expert) spends more than that! (When he is attempting to kwana you).

So anyway, I made my purchase (thank you very much friend) and I am happy with it. I have gotten over the whole “you did not spend on me!” thing.

I am a big believer in “it’s the thought that counts” theory and no that is not an attempt by me to get out of giving you expensive presents and what not. I just believe it’s really about how what I give you will help you not about how much I spent but that’s just me. There’s no point in spending 50k on you and then you use my gift once and that’s it. But that’s just me.

In the process of present buying and shopping, we walked passed a popcorn stall (some how it sounds more interesting if you call it a stall) so I decide to purchase some of these really nice tasting corn things.

I pull out my 500sh coin and debate on how much I should spend. I have a theory when it comes to such things. There really isn’t that big a difference in how much the chap will give you, should you buy popcorn for say 200sh as opposed to 100sh or 300sh as compared to 200sh. So I like to find the middle ground so I stick to the even amounts.

I think I should also confess that I wanted to find out if they (popcorn vendors) in town had started curtailing their portions unfairly like the vendors near my home. I am glad to report that these ones have taken it to another level. Even the popcorn paper bags have shrunk!!!! I hear fuel prices and food shortages have affected their capabilities. Hmmm... That’s all I’m saying.

In other news, I begin to think we need new places to hang. Scratch that... I KNOW we need new places to hang. Thursday’s plot usually involves a stint at Stake out.

I present my complaints (a very modest few).

One: the waiting on service leaves a lot to be desired most of the time. Except yesterday when for the first time in like years, about 5 waiters asked if we had placed our orders. I think it’s because Mr. B2B was not there but I might be wrong.

Two: what’s with the security guards going like “My friend!” so excitedly every time you turn up? I mean, I know all you want is a few coins so you can smoke or something, enough with the false friendliness!!!! Besides, as far as I know, you get paid, right?

Three: Price fluctuations... what gives? I know coke and Pepsi increased their retail price by 100sh. Did you have to go increase yours by another 500sh. It was already 1000sh (yes, 500 more) now it’s a whole 1000sh more!

I think I finally understand what you trying to tell me, its expensive hanging out with you. Never fear, I know some place where sodas are still 600sh and they would be happy to receive my coins, so there!

Four and more importantly, what’s with the MUSIC? You proclaim a rock night and yet the rock songs actually played can fit on my fingers (one hand by the way) and the biggest insult of all is your darn DJ has not changed his play list in over a month. Has he not learnt that he can change it up a bit?

We are still in the process of deciding what to do with you (most probable out come is, we bounce which is okay, I know we do not contribute that much but we are still paying customers).

We are thinking we should send Heaven! to sort you out. Heaven.. the name alone should work miracles and sort out the music to include sensible music like daughtry, three doors down, alanis, the fray, breaking benjamins, nickleback,.. can go on forever . but then with her beauty and innocence, it would be automatic that he would do what he can to please her , we would have our music.. and everyone would be happy.

Sooooooooooooooooorted!

I went as if assignment hunting for a few days ago and it is such journeys that convince me that i would not make a good personal banker.

For those of you who do not know about personal bankers, they are those bankers that deal with you individually (im guessing their title sort of explained it before i did :-) )

im told its a posh job, i would not know, i havent ever been one let alone worked in a bank. All i know about banks is, they are apparently that place your money stays and gets deducted without you intending for it to happen.

Yes, i know i sound like i never go to the bank... no scratch that.. like i know the inner workings of banks. No, im merely a long suffering on-again-off-again client (more off than on) because really, i dont have money to put in the bank and the way i see it, my few binusu (coins) will not go very far in the investment chain thingy banks have going on.

i have had this debate with myself a number of times, this debate about signing up so i can finally use an ATM and see what millions of Ugandans line up each day to have access to and ofcourse be a benefitiary of those white envelopes banks seem to have in boundless supply. Another incentive has been the whole clean bank notes thing but from discrete inquiries i find that banks do not neccesarily give you clean notes and about the only trust worthy bank (in this regard) is Bank of Uganda (BOU). I hear you can walk into that bank and ask for some money. i stress i HEAR, i do not know this for fact.

I can shamelessly say im one of those people who will follow groups of people just to find out where they are going, it does not matter that the said group might be going in the opposite direction, as long as i have the time, i might be convinced to go along to figure out what these upstanding citizens are on about. Language is never a problem mind, i figure my brain can sort out everything basing on gestures and what not.

So yes, i would probably join the bank so i can finally hold and admire the pink atm card (diva card- standard chatered bank) or the purple one (prestige, Barclays)... the other blue normal ones are so done. I am curious about a centenary bank card, though, if their coprate colours are any indication of the design of the card, im would gladly sign up to become a member of this bank (failed to get an image, the colors are a mix of oranges and purple).

However, my main problem remains, i do not have the money and after my sister , who ironically works in a bank, encouraged me not to use a bank, i have taken to personal banking.

I borrow the word "banking" with great respect. My method is effective and saves money.

WHen i make transactions, i do not pay anything in handling fees and i do not have to worry about exchange rates and transfer fees and atm machines retriving cards at will and what not. I do not need to que and look on jelously as people go and have cozy conversations with bank managers because they are prestige clients or have more money than me, thats the bottom line, isnt it?

I do not have to worry about cashiers or security personell who look me up and down and dismiss me because of the questionable state of my jeans and shoes (its hard out here in muddy err. dusty kla, namwe!). I do not have to worry about endless account numbers and having ink splattered across my palm as i try to find one pen that works so i can fill in my information. I do not have to worry about lowering my voice to ask for a pen when my industrious "fix pen" franchise in the banking hall fails to produce atleast one pen that works and have the lady i ask assure me in the relatively quiet banking hall.

I think this works well. when i need to pay someone (yes, even us with coins have to pay bills at some point) i walk into persons bank and pay direct. EFFECTIVE.

The only for seeable challenge is when i recieve a cheque (which has only happened about 6 times in my life) so i suspect as this is clearly not a regular occurance, im sorted. I think i can afford to open an account then, for that special reason, i will urge whoever is paying me to up the payment by like a 10k so i can afford to open the account on which i will bank the cheque... yes, i think that will work nicely.

I gave the sun to you, you said it was too bright
I gave you diamond rings, you said they didnt shine
I gave my world to you, But you said it's not enough
til you do me right, baby face


I could not believe it when you said you wanted to spend forever with me. I could not believe that there was nothing you wanted me to change about who I was, where I was going or what I was doing.

I could not believe you wanted me for me.

I thought you were everything I could ever possibly need. I thought you were the absolute cheese, you, my misunderstood love.

But that all changed… it took some time but it all changed.

It changed because it slowly dawned on me that I was not strong enough to put my foot down about certain things and I let you get away with so much.

It changed because I was not honest enough with myself to admit that we were too different to fit.

I thank you for opening my eyes my love. For making me realize that the problem was not with me.For making me understand and appreciate who I am.

I thank you letting me realize that I do not need to give people excuses to appreciate me for me, for making me understand that I don’t need to hold any one’s hand… for making me finally know that the highest respect anyone can pay you is letting you be you, without you having to fight for explanations.

I thank you for calling me blonde which translates into me being extremely stooooopid. I thank you for in that moment I realized that I detest that word in the way you use it.I realized that no matter how blonde I might be, I’m not extremely stupid. Thanks to God, my family and through life, I have learned a great deal.. Shoot! I have mad skillz!

But for you to belittle me and disrespect everything about me in that way makes me realize that my being me is of no consequence to you.

I thank you for letting me to know that I whine a lot. You call me extremely stupid, I react and I whine a lot, is your reaction. I was going for righteous indignation actually but once again, I thank you for opening my eyes.

So this is my good bye to you, my love. I learnt a lot from you.

I learnt that I will always be wrong.
I learnt that you will never fight for me.
I learnt that you will never look out for me.
I learnt that I am not even worth as much as your cigarettes.
I learnt you are a great believer in you and me... Not US.
I learnt to appreciate my time, appreciate me… because lets face it, I cant be anyone else.

So this time, I’m walking away and not making excuses for you, not making me take anymore twash from you.

I’m done.

Selfish- Asia Cruz

I dont like that word and i think its because i think it is such a cliched word it does not bear reckoning.

Just hearing the word irritates the living daylights out of me. It makes me want to reach out with my somewhat crooked nails and scratch myself with such zeal to reveal the magnificence with which my blood flows.

Let us define this word:
1. A subject or plan upon which one is constantly setting off; a favorite and ever-recurring theme of discourse, thought, or effort; that which occupies one's attention unduly, or to the weariness of others; a ruling passion.

2. Spare time recreational pursuit.

3. A pursuit outside of one’s main occupation.

So im guessing everytime they ask a Ugandan what their hobbies are and they say "making friends", this technically is true.

But i would like to argue that technically, none of us has hobby's. Hear me out.

You say you like to read, you say you enjoy reading. Technically since you were taught to read from a young age, you are conditioned to read so there really isnt a serious justification for you going on about how you love to read.

You say you love movies, they are your life! Technically, since you have eyes, you are always looking for things to look at.. movies provide this. They are in effect "just there"

You say you like to talk/gossip/chat.. technically, these just be part of your social skills, skills that you pick up on when you are introduced to society so even this can be something you learnt, not something you neccesarily enjoy doing.

Im just saying, does this thing called hobby really exist? Or are you somewhat conforming to some idea someone created to make you sociable? or make that make you believe you were sociable enough to "fit in".

You look so dumb right now… standing right there out side my house….
Take a bow- Rihana

This image resonates with me and no, not because I have stood outside millions of houses looking dumb. No, more so because I know so many people who should not only look dumb but should, hopefully, feel dump.

Case in point: There’s a woman in Mukono who paid a woman to kidnap a child so she could present the child as her own to save her affair.

Yes… AFFAIR.

First I thought maybe in some attempt to fill editorial space, the editor had somehow let this slightly sneaky word sneak in, but no, the woman was saving her affair. Let’s see if I can make this somewhat clearer.

Affair -matter: a vaguely specified concern; "several matters to attend to"; "it is none of your affair"; "things are going well"

Well technically, it is none of the world’s business if you decide to adopt a “come-we-sleep” attitude so this definition could work.

2 a usually secretive or illicit sexual relationship Aha!! This definition I am familiar with. There is still some big word in there that needs to be broken down some.

Illicit: Contrary to accepted, especially moral conventions…

Still not clear? Here’s another one: Prohibited by law: illegal, illegitimate, lawless, outlawed, unlawful, and wrongful. Of, involving, or being a crime:

There, think I have sufficiently done my share of nation building today.

The woman paid Ugs. 100,000 for this child by the way... toothless grin inclusive. Now, I begin to wonder what the going rate’s for kids are these days because I think they are becoming too readily available.

Let us assume, for the sake of argument that this lady got away with presenting this baby as her own. Let us assume, like any other baby, it will sleep a lot and err... have relatively lax control over its bodily functions and will also eat on the regular.

Once it gets over its initial wailing phase, it will determine a coded language of its own, which you will spend countless hours trying to decipher because as you are not the child’s mother, I gather this becomes harder than usual.

The child will grow up, eventually learn how to say “NO” to everything, throw tantrums want the latest banana fiber doll, play all the most disastrous games in the neighbor hood and generally be a child. It will grow up and eventually move on but not before you have spent oodles on food, education, health, clothing and general maintenance on this child who IS NOT yours.
And this paragon of a man who set you on this disastrous path... where is he? The wonderful thing about affairs is, if they do not gradually lead to marriage, is they are so convenient and realistically, which man would say no to the chance of having a “family” without having to commit legally?

There is no guarantee that he will be there when sharifa hurts her toes or runs off to play in mzee’s garden.

Incase you are wondering what happened or why she was driven to such lengths here is the rest of the story.

In order to keep “her” man, she told him she was pregnant. Nine months later, madam obviously does not have a bundle of joy (yes, I had questions at this point in the story like does this mean they had not been together during those nine months? How naïve would a man have to be to believe that the woman he is regularly with is carrying his child and not showing any outward signs of development? At worst, at least one of the following should change some- sleep patterns, eating patterns, food choices or even extreme mood swings..)

He chased the lady away from the house and ordered her to only come home with the child. (I’m assuming she wove some story about living the child at kaka’s (grandmother) house)).Desperately, she decides to save her marriage by acquiring the said baby by what ever means are available.

For 100,000 UGX, she will have a bundle and the love of her life. What a rush she must have been feeling! Unfortunately life did not work like that (probably thanks to the village snitch) and she and her accomplice were arrested, the baby returned to her family.

So what is she left with... jail time

I wonder if she is sorry she did what she did or is she sorry she got caught.

You meet him one day, this Mr. handsome.. not classified as such because not neccesarily because he is drop dead gorgeous but because his attitude, actions, his eyes send a msg that speaks directly to the soul. His words are sweet, said at the right time in the right moment everytime. His hands are gentle, his carresses send sparks and fire down your spine...raising the hairs on your neck.he has mastered the art of non sexual affection, and can charm the socks off any self respecting virgin

And you are definately a self respecting virgin, sweet.. adorable, planning to kiss only her husband.. the lot.

He sets out to get you, slowly sneaking into your heart and makes short work of it. It only takes about a year and a hald for this well deserving male to get his hard earned kiss and from then on its happily ever after...for a while anyway.



He is a darling! does everything right..doesnt pressure you into anything, is never broke, makes sure your every comfort is dealt with.. he is protective of you, wont let anyone or anything harm you...

And then he decides that he has found in you everything he needs and wants to propose, you know it wont work out , your cultural differences are the least of your problems.

You painfully break it off and try to move on and after a while, u do move on... and you meet Mr. right about 3 years later.

Mr. Right is not perfect. He is more than a girl could ask for,down to earth,gentle,affectionate, adventurous, stable(all round..),playful, mature even with the added plus of a wonderful family....blah blah blah.

You are happy together.. well until the memories of Mr. Handsome rear their bitter sweet heads and you remember him and you live in mortal fear of verbally comparing them.

You have anxiety attacks on occassion, what will happen when you meet him again.. will your heart rate increase in betrayal? will u consider chucking Mr.Right for him...

After all this time, he has not moved on, he still calls ,still dreams, still asks, still charms, every once in two weeks,over the phone,and all attempts to discourage him have failed thus far and then you decide to meet him, after all, what harm could it do?

You decide to face him and face down his memory.

You get there early and wait anxiously and suddenly he is there.No increased heart rate, NO hidden fascination........ As lunch progreses, the fear that old fires may be rekindled grips you... an hour later you realises that you are bored.

Its not that he isnt interesting, he is. You do care about him. Its just that the fire that once burnt brightly has burnt out, it has run its course.. there isnt a spark there fire that once burnt birghtly has out, has run its course.. there's not even a spark, nuthing at all.

You have finally moved on. maybe you had all this time, but you needed that meet to be sure. Now you can appropriately appreciate Mr. Right for everything that he is, not perfect but all yours....

The other day im having lunch with a friend and this couple walks in. After a brief staring session, my friend turns to me and says...

M: thats viki and her boi...
T: that's viki carol's sister, right?
M: Yeah... (craning her neck for a better view)
T: What year is she in now? or would have been at any rate?
M: Oba third?
T: Okay... how old is baby?
M: I think months...
T: EH! nga the baby doesnt grow! coz i think she had him in her first year and that was some time ago.
M: hmmmmmm... i cant imagine moving into the guyz house coz im having his baby, especially when he clearly doesnt want me there. It was soooooo bad their respective parents had to intervene at some point. But she moved in, regardless of what he wanted.

After a few minutes of deep relection....

M: But i understand why she would move in. I mean look at the guy... he has a lot going for him! he is tall, well built, cute...

T falls off chair laughing.....

Now honestly, i wasnt expecting that.. when people say you gots lots going for you, especially when you are a premature father, you would expect virtues like hardworking, honest, commited blah blah blah... not physical attributes!!

Our priorities are definately different... Nuff said.

********************************
As i was walking to my home the other night, through my little town, i chanced upon an odd accident.

(my sister lumps me in that category of ugandans who stand by the side of the road discussing how the accident occured.. as if any of us were there!)

This little starlet had taken a too wide turn and one of its tyres was stuck in a man hole (for lack of a better description). The rest of its body was dangling in the air.

I could feel my arms itching to organise themselves in comfortable accident discussion mode (usually ur hands are behind your back... one straight, the other meeting it at its middle.. or they be across your front)) .

Fortunately (or unfortunately) i was in a hurry that day... so dear sis, i didnt embarass you.

And by the way, if you have been through these sessions, they be interesting (according to me atleast).. well until its you in the mix and you cant exactly defend yourself....

There's this one time i was coming into town from bugolobi and we chanced upon an accident. I honestly could not believe that the driver (taxi) stopped the car to inform us (fourteen unsuspecting victims) of how the accident happened.

I couldnt help but wonder how he knew about it coz honestly, we had started out the journey together and cleeeeeeeeeearly the accident had just occured!

i heard this story today and it made me think.

It made me think because unlike most people, i still want to believe that there are still people out there who believe in what we were taught to believe in, who live their lives by the code that makes you an extraordinary person, as opposed to just one of the people.

I want to believe that people draw the line at tempting fate... at tempting to mess with Gods plan for your life, so to speak. You might argue that everything happens for a reason and when you mess with His plan, technically, you are just doing what He intended for you to do anyhu.

Im rumbling... bear with me....

I am one of those relatively liberal peoplez... but there are just some lines you do not cross especially if you are also claiming to be a daughter of destiny (church speak for really good christian person) or son of God (dudes dont have a kewl name apparently.. sowwy) or maybe its something like men of vision or something or other.

Maybe i should just tell you the story (sorry its taken me this long).

There's this gal (kelly), she's smart, sensitive, pretty as roses, focussed... determined (all those cliche words). One of those determined little people who you know will make it.. u know the type, MD material..always flying about and to make matters more interesting.. she's a good christian.

Not one of those "go to church on sunday ones" but live each day as Christ would- Christ like.

Then stories start circulating about how she was sitting cozily with all-hands-shaddy Stephen who casually gave her 5mln to buy her first car. How she and stephen are suddenly inseperable. Thats relatively okay.

She starts her business and is "always busy" and yet always borrowing money from her parents and from everywhere she can find it.

She rents a house... spends 400,000 on it.. her pay isnt exactly stable and yet she manages to maintain the house singlehandely.. drives a nice enough car...always on the go.

She takes on a new partner and is suddenly spending too much time with him. The rumour mill is busy putting two and two together.. but partner is married, so there is some belief that its all talk.

I was one of those ones' who believed that this fire spitting, deamon chasing person was just misunderstood. SOmeone who walks with the Lord and listens to his counsel and all that, would be blessed by Him after all His word says we should seek first His kingdom and all these things will be added unto us.

Today i heard that the horse said we should open our eyes. (my source, her brother). She moved into another house about 7 months ago, more expensive than her first. Apparenly they (partner n madam) are living it large.

His wife wants a divorce. He is willing to give her one.

Her excuse: if what we are doing is wrong, God will tell us.

I have problems riiiiiiiiiiiiiight there. This is the same person who went out with some chap because God had okay'd it.. about 2 yrs later.. she broke it off with him because God had said "No".

God is not man that He should lie.. nor is He like man that He should change his mind or be uncertain about HIs plan for your life.

And what is this crap of if what we are doing is wrong? when did it become right for you to break up families? when did it become okay for you to stand between people who made vows?

Granted the concerned parties might not want to stay true to their vows but who died and made you chief relationship wrecker? Yes.. they might have eventually split up, but why shoud it be YOU to do the splitting?

And how can you go to your heavenly father and pray for forgiveness, acceptance, guidance when in your life you have such things going down?

I know God accepts us for who we are with all our blemishes and what not. Its always a good thing to be totally honest with Him coz realistically He is all seeing and all knowing.

There are some things that are sacred, things you should not mess with and two of those things are the family and the sanctity of marriage.

I would find it really weird if i went to talk to God when i knew i was cleeeeeeeeeearly doing something wrong.. u can only claim ignorance to some extent...

The other day, some debate got started because of a certain post. The short of the post was this successful babe decided to pay some guy to father her baby. Trick was she landed for him a bit and slept with him longer than necessary in the name of merchandise acquisition.. okay.. she plain liked dude!

So she has baby... (did i mention that he happened to be married?) and decides being a mum once was quite enough.

The peep who led me to the post was sooooooooooooooo peeved coz apparently it isnt African to pay someone to father your child let alone for the man to allow to be used so.

Now i ask.. if you want a child, without the hustle of clinger on husband/boyfriend/man friend person.. what should you do? And really if you find a willing party.. is it such a crime?

so i had decided to do this sleeping early thing, on account of certain body parts not coperating (read sleep heavy eyes) and then i landed on a show thingy- okay re run of some Beyonce concert.

There are people who can walk away from you; and hear me when I tell you this!
When people can walk away from you: let them walk.

I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. The Bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.

You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over.

Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye.It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ...LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth ...LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you ... LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge, LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction ... LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents ... LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude ... LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better ... LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him ... LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship.... LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves ...LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed .... LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying, "Take your hands off of it," then you need to ... LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing!!! LET IT GO!!!

Get Right or Get Left. Think about it, and then LET IT GO!!!

"The Battle is the Lord's!"