I went as if assignment hunting for a few days ago and it is such journeys that convince me that i would not make a good personal banker.

For those of you who do not know about personal bankers, they are those bankers that deal with you individually (im guessing their title sort of explained it before i did :-) )

im told its a posh job, i would not know, i havent ever been one let alone worked in a bank. All i know about banks is, they are apparently that place your money stays and gets deducted without you intending for it to happen.

Yes, i know i sound like i never go to the bank... no scratch that.. like i know the inner workings of banks. No, im merely a long suffering on-again-off-again client (more off than on) because really, i dont have money to put in the bank and the way i see it, my few binusu (coins) will not go very far in the investment chain thingy banks have going on.

i have had this debate with myself a number of times, this debate about signing up so i can finally use an ATM and see what millions of Ugandans line up each day to have access to and ofcourse be a benefitiary of those white envelopes banks seem to have in boundless supply. Another incentive has been the whole clean bank notes thing but from discrete inquiries i find that banks do not neccesarily give you clean notes and about the only trust worthy bank (in this regard) is Bank of Uganda (BOU). I hear you can walk into that bank and ask for some money. i stress i HEAR, i do not know this for fact.

I can shamelessly say im one of those people who will follow groups of people just to find out where they are going, it does not matter that the said group might be going in the opposite direction, as long as i have the time, i might be convinced to go along to figure out what these upstanding citizens are on about. Language is never a problem mind, i figure my brain can sort out everything basing on gestures and what not.

So yes, i would probably join the bank so i can finally hold and admire the pink atm card (diva card- standard chatered bank) or the purple one (prestige, Barclays)... the other blue normal ones are so done. I am curious about a centenary bank card, though, if their coprate colours are any indication of the design of the card, im would gladly sign up to become a member of this bank (failed to get an image, the colors are a mix of oranges and purple).

However, my main problem remains, i do not have the money and after my sister , who ironically works in a bank, encouraged me not to use a bank, i have taken to personal banking.

I borrow the word "banking" with great respect. My method is effective and saves money.

WHen i make transactions, i do not pay anything in handling fees and i do not have to worry about exchange rates and transfer fees and atm machines retriving cards at will and what not. I do not need to que and look on jelously as people go and have cozy conversations with bank managers because they are prestige clients or have more money than me, thats the bottom line, isnt it?

I do not have to worry about cashiers or security personell who look me up and down and dismiss me because of the questionable state of my jeans and shoes (its hard out here in muddy err. dusty kla, namwe!). I do not have to worry about endless account numbers and having ink splattered across my palm as i try to find one pen that works so i can fill in my information. I do not have to worry about lowering my voice to ask for a pen when my industrious "fix pen" franchise in the banking hall fails to produce atleast one pen that works and have the lady i ask assure me in the relatively quiet banking hall.

I think this works well. when i need to pay someone (yes, even us with coins have to pay bills at some point) i walk into persons bank and pay direct. EFFECTIVE.

The only for seeable challenge is when i recieve a cheque (which has only happened about 6 times in my life) so i suspect as this is clearly not a regular occurance, im sorted. I think i can afford to open an account then, for that special reason, i will urge whoever is paying me to up the payment by like a 10k so i can afford to open the account on which i will bank the cheque... yes, i think that will work nicely.