eman who? *launches dictionary* ooooooooh! you should rely on each other methinks.

I am one of those "independent" women who can basically afford to pay for everything on my own, but sometimes, I appreciate it when my man picks up some of my tabs. And it works the same way with him.

People who hold such views as your said friend should be careful not to make money an issue in a relationship because that is guaranteed to break it up.

That said, I have a problem with certain women who think their men are ATM machines and should pay for everything, including their "pads" (as your friend puts it). At the same time, I can't stand men who allow themselves to be used like ATMs and then start whining after the fact. I'm talking about dating relationships here.

Interesting question....I'm independent..but its good to know that you can depend on someone...and it does feel great when the guy offers to pay for stuff...

But yes..draw the line at gold-digging tendencies..but men who allow themselves to be used in such a way...should they be complaining?? coz methinks they're also using the women in question (as arm-candy ama trophies)

my argument is based on Genesis in the Holy Bible... we were given the punishment of child birth and men were supposed to be the providers so heck yes i expect him to provide... but not exclusively... mbu hair, panties and all that drama, no... but the foundational stuff like household bills, for the kids, medical, the car... you get my drift.

Well, Miss Tandra-licious!

[My Take is this...]
Initially when you do start dating, and you set the boundaries in money without explaining your (or each other's) issues, it will be hard to match and manage each other's expectations....

i expect any man to be a man about stuff, offer to pay for numerous thing without breaking himself for tomorrow... If he can't he should come clean and let her know... so that she can understand his situation is just temporary!!

Other than that, i expect them to rely on each other as and when possible!

Your friend is totally tripping about drama! he should know that women do have certain expectations, and so do men...
he should take time to know her before she ends up ATM-ing his sorry a**

Then he starts whining!!
Lousy chaps making the rest of us look Bad!

I agree with MrB2B

If it is financial, well, both should chip in.

I asked my man that recently. If he'd give me money for my hair ever. His answer: 'Babes, how do you expect me to pay for the house, the car, insurance, medical bills, school fees, put food on the table . . . and THEN do your hair!' I burst out laughing cuz he'd mostly answered my question. Now all I have to do is take care of my hair and nails cuz everything else is taken care of, sindiyo?

You should rely on yourself, and then build up a relationship with a reliable person.

interesting...hmmmmmm....does buying me gifts count? because i want gifts. i like gifts. otherwise, i like to do it my way. that is why i am toiling, no?

I think that you should set boundaries, like a lunch tab i can pick, we go to the market you want a few stuff, sure! But the thing is tha chik should also offer to pick the tab once in a while and not when the dude makes it clear that hes broke! That is an ideal relationship.
Gospel according to Ngare.

I never rely on them for anything. Not that I don't ask or threaten them to do things but I never expect them to actually be done. So I'm always really surprised and grateful when it actually happens.

@Carlo: You, girl, are an utter genius! I am so stealing that. Get the man to say that and then I'm totally off the hook and can spend all my money on ME!! YAAAAY!! Can you say "I'm going shopping, I'll be back in a week, don't call me."

I hate getting gifts though! If you want to give me something I'd rather just have the cash. You can wrap it up like a present if you want though :-)