Tandra
Tumwijuke wrote this post and made me think some, and im sorry for as if posting as if at yours, so this is my rant... in MY space

Please note: tis a rant!

I have often wondered if those UFO thingies actually exist, i tend to lean more towards Mericans commercializing ideas, on my more favorable days. On my not so level days, i think, they could exist! After all nothing exists out of nothing...... well, that is if you do not think about creation.. coz technically nothing existed until God put it together. ((interesting rant about respecting structures the way they are set up here... towards the end, but u can read it all))

I have thus created the following letter in defense ( maybe promotion) of Africa

People of the Universe (((isn't that what they say in movies???))

I understand you actually consider leaving your vastly advanced colonies to make it to earth some day (assuming these guyz weren't lying abt area 51 and u have not been here before)

We are kewl people with miles and miles of land for you to land on and set camp. We have deserts, lakes.. forests and in fact we are doing our part in balancing out this thing we like to call climate change through engaging in carbon trading. There's some explanation in there, that you must be familiar with, you guyz being advanced and all.

Should u have any other qns in regard to site requirements, send us a message of sorts. Yes, we have the interweb sorry internet thingy set up, we have like radio and telly and guess what, we do know how to read. Granted literacy levels are not where they should be, but we are optimistic that we shall get there some day.

i know you probably have some questions about our political situation.. well some might argue that it is unstable, at its best. But, if you really think about it, when our leaders refuse to step down and help us develop even more,THAT THERE is expected, reliable and STABLE.. so technically you have nothing to worry about.

I always argue that if you wanted to disappear after your enemy kicked u off Pluto, u cld lounge it in Africa, its relatively safe.. we dont have serious car tracking and GPRS locating thingies coz quite frankly our road system is messed up... we cant exactly make it to Google Maps yet because there are sooo many roads within roads(coz like typical Africans we believe in short cuts) and therefore... u can loose urself as well as ur enemy.. effective!

We are generally friendly people, dear aliens. We accept what our "leaders" say.. u know them leaders. Them people who help us with financial aid all the time, those people who essentially dictate what we should do. But you could help us out... if you have waaay more money than them and technology (especially weapons) that are the cheese, we could work something out. We are amendable to "democracies" where the voices of the people count for nothing.( bonus!)

ooo, it is also advisable that you change your monies into dollars before you get here and make sure they are dated after 2000. for some odd reason u will be stiffed when you go to change it.

we also have various languages.. surely we should find one we can both understand! we like to take things slowly-slowly... so tis like u on holiday all year long which is very helpful coz its like summer n spring break rolled into one, all year round here.

We can defend you if you came to lounge it here. Contrary to what you might have seen in some movies like "Independence day" with will smith... in addition to having spears, we have guns. SHock! Gasp! yes... they might b old models but really, the important thing is, we can also say we have.....

By the way, i know u have probably heard that we have countless diseases as well... like HIV, malaria, Ebola, cholera, TB and everything else. Cant deny that.. but we have survived for countless years and although when we leave Africa we are quarantined because of these diseases (especially malaria), i would like to let you know that we have thick skin. Now... if your genetic make up is anything like ours, u are some what sorted... if not... well.... err.... yeah!

Ps. If you plan to blow up big buildings and have effective coverage of the events... Africa aint for you.

I stress... we are friendly!!!! and thank ful to God that somehow HE sees us through food shortages, energy crisis', political upheaval yadi yada...

Thank You
AFRICA UNITE!
11 Responses
  1. Anonymous Says:

    hehehe!!


  2. Anonymous Says:

    ...Ps. If you plan to blow up big buildings and have effective coverage of the events... Africa aint for you.... someone please pick me off the floor!


  3. DeTamble Says:

    *holds out hand* Here Intelligensia, let me help! :-)

    Slowly-slowly? Summer all the time? And apparently you guys get rain over there too...screw the aliens, you could use this as a tourist advertisement because I am soooo there! Any place with sunshine AND rain is like heaven to me. *glares at dry cracked earth* stooopid drought thing!!


  4. DeTamble Says:

    oh and screw tourism too, think bigger, think migration! :P


  5. the antipop Says:

    my my, arent we feeling patriotic today...


  6. Anonymous Says:

    grabs hand and yanks Tambles off her feet and onto....


  7. KK Says:

    LMAO!
    me thinks we got a winner here.... you are seriously funny


  8. DeTamble Says:

    Cradle snatcher! :-)


  9. You go go! But looky, if the aliens they depict existed, or even were similar to the ones they depict, here's the problem:

    America is only a small part of the world. And they only occur there. The rest of the world don't see them. Conclusion: American stuff. Ignore it. :o)


  10. Anonymous Says:

    Hehehehe
    Just like Intelligensia

    Chuckles...
    Technically, your ranting is good for blogger!!

    Hehehehehe


  11. Anonymous Says:

    A very long 'ha' :-D

    When the alien life forms make contact, tell them UBHH can hook them up.